I've wanted to tell you guys that for the last five years. And WOW, it feels good to finally say it.
What's it about, you ask? Well, it's the story of James' birth and (alleged) miraculous healing through the intercession of Venerable Fulton Sheen. If you don't really know what I'm talking about let me bring you up to date:
My son James was born eight and a half years ago, a planned homebirth. Everything was beautiful and perfect until James was born lifeless. Not able to find a pulse, my midwife began CPR; Travis performed an emergency baptism; our friend called 911; and I sat in a state of shock, repeating "Fulton Sheen" in my head, unsure of how to pray for my son and therefore calling on my friend and James Fulton's patron to pray.
James was taken to the hospital and when the ED team stopped working on him to call time of death his heart started again - 148 beats / minute. He had been without a pulse for 61 minutes.
The doctors expected massive organ failure or, at best, for James to be very severely disabled. But we continued to pray, begging God for a miracle and asking Archbishop Sheen to pray for a miracle, too. And by the time he was one year old it was obvious that James would not only survive but that there would be no significant residual damage from that hour he was dead.
The Sheen Foundation and Diocese of Peoria held a tribunal to investigate our alleged miracle and it was submitted to the Congregation for the Causes of Saints for Venerable Sheen's beatification.
This book tells that story.
Almost six years ago I signed a contract with Our Sunday Visitor to write this book. We did things privately, wanting to be respectful of the Church and Sheen's cause. And when the cause came to a pause we set the completed book aside. We waited and hoped and prayed. Over the years we discussed if now was the right time, but it never was.
Until right now.
I'm not sure what will happen next with the cause but in the end we decided that James' story is a powerful one and it brings glory to God. So I found my old manuscript, cleaned it up, brought it up to date, and resubmitted it to OSV. I just got it back from my editor, ready for my revisions.
The book will be released in late August or early September and will be available for pre-order at the end of the school year. Over the years many of you have reached out online or spoken with me after a talk and asked "When will you write a book?" I always wanted to say, "I HAVE!" and now I finally can.
I will keep you posted with the title, cover, and all the details. I have wanted to share this excitement with you because - and I mean this so very sincerely - so many of you are a part of this book. You prayed for James. You also asked God for a miracle. You sent our family meals, gift cards, prayers, and cash. You carried us when we could barely keep our heads above water. Travis and I have never forgotten that and we never will.
Thank you for your love and support over the years and right now. When Travis and I share James story we always want it to first and foremost bring glory and honor to God. We want it to also inspire people to befriend Fulton Sheen so that his holy witness will bring them closer to Christ. We want it to give people hope. We hope that this book does that for you.
One of the talks that I give is on liturgical living, and it's a favorite topic of mine to talk about. I think our Catholic faith is so beautiful and joyful and even, at times, quirky and I love sharing it with others through the seasons and everyday life.
When I present this particular talk I am sure to share lots of examples of ways our family celebrates throughout the liturgical year, along with examples of what our friends do. I also stress what a beautiful, easy tool liturgical living can be for parents and grandparents who are trying to evangelize and form their children, especially when it's done in a way that makes sense for each particular family's home culture, interests, strengths, and season of life. Finally, I make sure everyone knows that because this work of building up the Kingdom of God is vitally important satan will attack it, because he's a jerk like that, so be ready.
In my life books have been so helpful in sharing the faith with my kids and so when I gave this talk I brought some of my favorites to share with the audience. There was lots of note-taking and photo-snapping so people would remember the titles I had shared. But there were also so many books and DVDs I had to leave at home and I thought those should be shared, too, especially as my kids kept saying, "Oh I love this one! And this one! And this one!"
So below is a fairly extensive list of books and other resources we use throughout the year. The seasonal books are stored with their corresponding decorations and then placed in our family book basket for the duration of the season. Some books are read on a daily or weekly basis throughout the year. Some books stay on the bookshelf in our living room for easy access. We have a ton of other books, too, but I don't need to include How the Grinch Stole Christmas here.
I've divided the groups into books for kids, resources for parents / grandparents / teachers, Bibles, and DVDs. All the Amazon and Blessed Is She links are affiliate links, which means I receive a small payment at no cost to you when you purchase through my specific link. I have also built an Amazon page filled with these items so you can check them all out there, if you'd like. You can find that here.
I started looking for my word of the year in Advent, wanting to start the liturgical new year with an idea of what God was planning for me.
My word from Jen's generator came easily: fearless. It was the first one that popped up and it instantly felt right.
My word from God did not come so easily but once it came I knew it was truly from Him: healing.
It took me a month to find it but now that word seems inescapable.
On Monday of this past week I dreamed* that Death came while I was sleeping, touched my womb, and took my child. Two days later, at 21 weeks pregnant, the midwife could not find a heartbeat though she searched and pressed for at least five minutes. She left the room to arrange for a sonogram and I sobbed. Later, after a sono found a healthy, happy, living baby, I was talking to God about my fear and I heard Him. "I can heal that, too."
On New Year's Day, the Solemnity of the Mother of God, the Second Reading was proclaimed: As proof that you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying out, "Abba, Father!" So you are no longer a slave but a son... And I couldn't help it, the reading from Galatians spoke right to a very old, tender hurt that is currently being beaten upon and I heard Him. "I can heal that, too."
I followed Shannon's posts on body image and hated them all because they hurt so much but as I sat there reading her words and hating my body I heard Him. "I can heal that, too."
I am afraid of healing because I would rather hide from the pain then deal with it. Healing, it seems to me, means looking at the lies and the wounds and the very deep, old, unfulfilled longings and letting them rage with all their might until they die down like a storm.
I pondered to God, "Is this how I am to be fearless? Am I to stand up to the fear and let the pain and sobs and all the feelings come?" And He said to me, "I can heal that too."
I've noticed, and maybe you have too, that I don't hear Him say, "I will heal that," but "I can heal that," which at first seemed a little odd. He is the Father who keeps His promises, so why wouldn't He promise it to me?
Right now - and this may change as life happens and things are revealed, but right now - I think it's because He knows and I know that the only way He will heal these things is if I cooperate with grace and allow Him to do so. And I think that's where I need to be fearless, in the places where I am scared I need to trust and let Him in and relinquish it all to Him.
As a role model in fearlessness I was given Blessed Sara Salkahazi as my saint of the year. I knew nothing of her when I first read her name, but she was a Hungarian nun, killed by the Nazis for her work hiding, moving, and helping Jews. I am very glad to have been introduced to a woman with such bravery and conviction. She's got some work to do when it comes to interceding for me!
This is only the beginning and it feels like I may be on the brink of another rough year. But I am hopeful that soon enough God will bring me to a new place with my heart fortified so satan's stupid lies can cause no more pain.
Please, God.
Amen.
* Further context for why the nightmare was so bad for me: When I was pregnant with my oldest, Lydia, I dreamed I was holding a sweet baby girl and from that dream I just *knew* I was having a girl. When I was pregnant with Ben I dreamed I was holding an adorable baby boy and I just *knew" I was having a boy. And when I was pregnant with James I dreamed that I gave birth to a stillborn baby boy on my bedroom floor. When I told Travis about the dream he said to me, "That can't happen." We never talked about it again, though we both worried and, of course, it is exactly what happened.
In 2018 I had two words for the year, but for me the were linked and essentially told me to do the same thing. BE came from prayer and BLOSSOM came from Jen Fulwiler's word generator. After a hard, hard eighteen months beforehand the words felt like gifts from God. He wouldn't be asking me to grow through suffering or be pruned. He was asking me to do well in the place He had already put me. I could just be.
I had hoped that in the year I'd come to have more confidence in myself, to be more comfortable in my own skin, to stop deflating every time I looked in a mirror but those things didn't happen.
However, I did find peace and contentment more quickly (if I had to search for it at all) when others' successes surpassed my own. (This is most of the time, people.)
I built the habit of saying YES to my children. Yes, I will do a puzzle with you. Yes, I will hold you. Yes, I will help you with that. Yes, you can bake a cake. And if I had to say No I always had a good reason, not just my own laziness or personal comfort.
I learned to say yes promptly instead of saying "wait" or "in a second," which always meant five or thirty minutes. I turned from my computer or phone or book or show (usually) immediately to show with my actions that my family really is of the utmost importance to me.
I found that I often had to make these actions a prayer to God, pointing out to Jesus that I was taking care of Him by taking care of them, and I regularly asked Mary to mentor and intercede for me. And then at some point it became less hard and more natural.
I came to relish feeling little and hidden, doing my most important work in small moments that could not be paraded on Instagram. There was no audience to see me except those who love me unconditionally. I felt like what I was doing was hugely insignificant in the eyes of the world but immeasurably needed and wanted by those in my home - my husband, my children, and my God - and it was freeing.
I don't know what God will do this coming year but last year was so, so good for my heart.
My top posts on Instagram, top to bottom, left to right:
1 - "a baby due in May" 2 - "This picture of a healthy baby and a strong heartbeat is more than just one baby and one pulse. It leans on all my children, living and dead..."
3 - "Jesus Christ is Risen!" 4 - "praying for a miracle for Mark." 5 - "The Advent Care Package Giveaway"
6 - "long hair, white legs, a barrel of a belly, and kids running all over the place"
7 - "Happy All Hallow's Eve!"
8 - "Happy Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus!"
9 - "Just like the cake Hagrid sat on!"
The weeks before the kids go back to school are super stressful and overwhelming to me with the overload of errands, appointments, paperwork, and more. The house is constantly messy, the kids are bored of the slip n' slide, there's all kinds of fighting, and I am just so tired of feeding them. They want to go back to school and I want them to, too. How did people do it for thousands of years? How do homeschoolers do it?
To me this is not the end of summer. Summer basically ended on August 6th. I will get out my Fall decorations on September 1st -ish and this time in between is a purgatory of stress and heat and exhaustion. (As an aside, some people think I'm a bit dramatic but I just don't see it.)
I made a playlist to get me through these next weeks. You can see how badly I want to get on with my life in that I titled it "September 2018." Some of the songs are pretty new to me and so I cannot vouch for all the lyrics and content, but if you want to discover some new songs right along with me click over and check it out. There's some safe ones, too, like Ben Rector and Mat Kearney. ;)
School starts with a half day on Thursday, so here's a look the last bits of summer, the things that happened at the end of July and the first week of August. That is, the things that I want to remember.
Jofis celebrated his 5th birthday. He wanted a train cake and party and since his favorite color is green I was able to make all his dreams come true super simply. A few of his classmates and cousins came over, everyone played outside, and we ate wacky cake and drank lemonade. He got a bug catcher and water balloons and his life was made.
I celebrated my birthday, too. I turned thirty-seven and to celebrate I got coffee with friends, went shopping at Target with Travis, bought a new dress, asked people to donate to baby Olivia's GoFundMe, found a few new grey hairs, and overall had a good day.
We also celebrated Harry Potter's birthday. The kids listened to several of the audio books this summer and L read the whole series for the first time. They have watched several of the movies, too, so it was a lot of fun to surprise them with a table filled with candles, pretzel rod wands, and this birthday cake. They snacked in the candlelight while watching the first movie before bed. And just so you know, there's a bit of a back story for this cake and you can hear about it if you watch the You're a Bad Mom video here.
In other news, we were given a Days of Creation paper chain (which you can see here) along with a beautiful, giant floor puzzle from WeeBelievers. Both are super sweet but we especially love the floor puzzle because we are just floor puzzle people, people! I mean, look at how happy Tee is with it! The illustrations are so sweet, you guys. I really love it. But the best part is that it's two sided so it's two, two, TWO puzzles in one!
In other news, I caught this super sweet picture of Travis and Tee sleeping one morning a few weeks ago. I mean, be still my heart.
And now I'll tell you all a secret: this summer we attended 7am daily Mass Monday - Friday. The vast majority of the time the whole family went: Travis, me, and all seven kids. We missed a few days, and occasionally some of us had to stay home but usually we were all there.
Now this was even feasible because:
#1 - we did not have a newborn / someone recovering from major surgery (like last summer)
#2 - Travis is a teacher with summers off and this summer his handyman jobs were all local so he was almost always around to attend with us.
The reasons I wanted to do it are:
#1 - For years Travis and I were daily communicants and I was really missing that Gift.
#2 - I knew that if we attended 7am Mass all summer long our days would still end around 8pm which meant we could keep the same bedtime and evening routine. I knew I wanted to have time with Travis every night and I hoped that the return to the school would feel less like a crash and burn this way.
#3 - I'm hoping it will inspire my boys to love the priesthood and I pray that one of them has been given that vocation.
I don't know what will happen next summer but I know that being able to attend daily Mass this summer was such a gift to me. Even when my kids complained. Even when MJ would not be contained to the pew and had to wander. Even when we had to sit in the cry room because we were so late. It was such a gift.
Speaking of Mass, this seems like a good time to show you the preview copy of Ginny Kochis's new Mass Journal for Kids. Ginny sent it to me and I promptly passed on to my 10 year old, L. It's really lovely, you guys, and if you're looking for something you can either gift to your own children, godchildren, students or use as a family to prepare for or review the Sunday Mass readings I really encourage you to try this.
L and I were both really taken by the layout and feel of the book. It's big; has room for doodles, journaling, and note taking; and includes all the readings + reflections, quotes from the saints, and more. I also like that it goes by seasons - this one covers the Autumn months - so it's not too bulky nor too big of a commitment. If you're looking for a nice Back to School gift this would be a great one, I think.
One last note: the winners for the Sheenazing Awards have finally been announced! You can head to the original post to see who earned the top three spots in each category! Thank you to everyone who voted - over 1,100! - and congratulations to the winners! I hope everyone had fun along the way!
Alright, time to get a move on. See you soon, you guys!
Thirteen years ago I was using the powder room in someone's home. I had never been there before so when I walked in I was a little surprised to see a large statue of Our Lady displayed on a shelf above the toilet.
As I rejoined my hosts I commented, "I like the Our Lady of the Loo statue you have," a bit of a cheeky grin on my face. They laughed and explained how it was a wedding gift and they hadn't known where else to put it (there was religious art *all over* their home) so they put her in the powder room. It worked!
Our Lady of the Loo has stayed with me ever since, at least the idea of her.
I don't think this is actual theology, this whole making up whatever name one wants for Mary, but it has given me lots of little inside jokes with the Holy Family over the years and has helped me to keep laughter and the Lord in my heart and home.
In the hallway, across from my toddler's door, hangs an icon I have dubbed Our Lady of the Eye Roll because when I'm having a hard time with my toddler I often roll my eyes as a way of communicating to her how stressed out I am. She sees me at my worst.
On my dresser stands Our Lady of the NICU. She holds her Infant, her crown is broken, and her dress is sticky from the residue of hospital tape that secured her to my son's neonatal intensive care unit bassinet. She holds memories of my hardest days and worst fears and prays for the trauma of it all.
I thought of this little way of mine when I was clearing off the dining room table after lunch. I sat the salt and pepper shakers on the buffet, which triples as our liquor cabinet and family altar. When I saw where I had placed them I smiled and said, "Our Lady of the Salt and Pepper Shakers, pray for us."
I hope everyone understands that this isn't me making fun of Mary or her titles. In fact doing this has brought me closer to the Blessed Mother as she meets me in these small, mundane moments of my every day life. The religious art in my home becomes an entry into prayer instead of a decoration and always, always Mary does what she does best and she uses these moments to draw me closer to the Heart of her Son.
Nothing is too small to be loved by Jesus. Nothing is too boring to be brought to His attention. But it is often in those little moments where I most need Mary's prayers to guide me, I need her presence to remind me.
And so the serendipitous placing of Lego creations on a shelf so they can be proudly displayed by my older children while protected from my younger children becomes a moment to laugh and then pray.
Our Lady of the Legos, pray for me that I will delight in my children. Pray for me that I will nurture their creativity and confidence and the knowledge of when to try harder and when to let it go. Pray for me that I will encourage them to share and work together and support one another. Pray for me that I will detach myself from the desire for perfection and will place more value in my children than in a decorated, tidy home. And Lord have mercy when I step on a Lego and curse. +
And then I leave it in her hands, confident that her prayers for me will continue throughout my day.
Please know that Marian theology and devotion has not always been easy for me. When other Catholics would gush about Our Lady I just didn't get it. I respected her as the mother of my Lord, but there wasn't a ton of intimacy.
Our Lady of the Loo changed all that for me. She was the beginning of a beautiful relationship which has grown through the years to a place where Mary is friend, mother, confidant, companion, mentor, and prayer warrior. And so I share my names for her with you in case this helps you to love her more, to aid you so that you will let her love you more. Her love has been such a great gift in my life. Thanks be to God.
PS - While writing this post I remembered the beautiful work that Christy Mandin creates. Her images of Mary are some of my favorites ever. You can check her out at A Creative Almanac, though most of her Marian prints are found on her inprnt store. The above image of Our Lady of Solidarity was created in response to the immigration crisis at the border. Christy is donating a portion of the profits of each copy sold to Together Rising's efforts at caring for the children and families there. What's more, inprnt has promised to match her donation!
I owe a very sincere apology to Jane Austen. When Jane Bennet caught cold and had to stay at Netherfield for several days I thought it was ridiculous. I mean, it's a cold. Likewise, when Harriet Smith caught cold and had to stay in bed for days I thought that was also ridiculous.
But then in mid-December I got sick. I got really, really, really sick with a cold of Jane Austen proportions.
The last week of school before Christmas break Ben came down with something. He slept 20 hours a day and barely ate anything. One by one all six of my kids fell ill and when Baby Tee was also sick I took him to the doctor. Strep throat for the baby and so everyone got antibiotics. By the time the kids were starting to feel better my throat was starting to hurt, I had a congested headache and a cough.
And for over four weeks I would cough and sleep and lay around. I would start to feel better and then crash with more coughing, sleeping, and laying around. Often I would wish that *I* was at Netherfield with a household staff to cook, clean, and care for the children while I laid in bed and got better. (Alright, honestly, I often have that wish even when I'm healthy.)
It wasn't strep; it wasn't bronchitis; and while I thought it had turned into walking pneumonia and was even treated for it with some antibiotics I think, in the end, it was just a super duper, really bad cold - just like the prompt care doctor told me. Five weeks later I am still occasionally coughing but I finally feel fairly caught up with life.
There were a lot of really good things that happened in those five weeks, especially in December, and I wanted to share some of the highlights.
St. Nick brought a gingerbread village for the kids to assemble and decorate.
Travis was able to finish and hang my shelves. They are made from the wood of an oak tree that stood in my maternal grandfather's yard. We kept the bark on them and glossed them up. This is pretty much the first and only time where how I imagined a finished project looking is how the finished project actually looks. And I loooooove it!
On Christmas morning we put on our finest, went to the 7am Mass, and tried to get a good family photo. This is as good as it gets, and yes, there is a hideous mural on the back wall of my parish. I dream of whitewashing it.
My parents, my uncle, and my paternal grandfather came over to watch the kids open their gifts and to eat homemade sausage bread and cinnamon rolls, bacon, and coffee. Behold: the only picture I took:
Five days later we celebrated Baby Tee's first birthday and our tenth anniversary with a party. Our parents, siblings, and friends were invited and so I set out a yummy spread, decorated with fresh greens and items used in our wedding reception, and...
put on my new favorite outfit and (a rare thing these days) make-up.
L, my 8 year old, was pursuing her Cake Making badge in American Heritage Girls and so she spent the day with her aunt, a professional baker, and designed and baked the anniversary cake for us...
And the birthday cupcakes for Tee.
We were married on my paternal grandfather's 80th birthday so along with Tee's 1st, we celebrated Grandpa's 90th. L made him a special cupcake and everyone sang Happy Birthday to him.
Fortunately I was feeling fairly well for Christmas and our anniversary but right after each I crashed again. Instead of doing an Advent Calendar I like to celebrate the Twelve Days of Christmas but this year the only thing I was able to do was make and decorate Christmas cookies and that was only because my mom came over to help. Oh well.
If you're looking for a good gingerbread cookie recipe Mary's from Better Than Eden is the best I've ever had. Follow her tip and save them for the next day. I don't know why, but they are so much better Day Two. And that St. Nick cookie cutter came from Catholic Curio, in case you were wondering.
And if you're looking for a good something to watch, well I have been busy with all my laying around.
Amazon Prime: Mr. Holmes, the BBC's Emma, Grantchester, Endevour, and the Matt Smith Doctor Who episodes all kept me company.
Netflix: Spotlight, Sherlock, The Crown, A Royal Night Out, Death Comes to Pemberly, Madame Secretary, The Imitation Game, The Returned, and E.T. have also been good distractions.
Gosh, I look like such a bum, don't I?
I'll leave you with my current favorite song, a reward of sorts for making to the end of this post.
At the end of October Baby Tee will be ten months old. He is crawling, pulling himself to standing, cruising, and saying "mama." He laughs at his older siblings' silliness and they love to perform for him. He likes cheerios, sweet potatoes, graham crackers, and his mama's milk. He has seven teeth and sometimes I think he looks like an elf.
Can I just tell you that I am completely smitten with him? Some things are tough, of course, like teething and night nursing and all the food he drops on the floor, but he is so sweet and so lovely and my heart bursts with love of him.
I've never had an experience like this before. All my other children's infancies were shadowed by postpartum depression and now that I see what life with a newborn is like without PPD touching it I am incredibly sad that we were all robbed of happier days and a lighter, more peaceful, more loving home. But I am also so incredibly grateful that this time I have not suffered from PPD.
There were moments I was afraid it was coming. One night in particular I was so tired and so anxious. My anxiety kept me awake after a night feeding and I paced the house, I sobbed in the family room, I shook with fear, and I kept seeing this picture of a spiraling, Wonderland-like fall of which I was standing on the cusp.
When exhaustion or stress crept up on me, as they did a couple of times, they showed themselves through anger and an inability to tolerate anything. In the past I would have succumbed - I would have gone crazy. I had...
... but this time was different. We were proactive and we had plans in place. We knew that exhaustion and stress triggered my spiraling into PPD and so my husband, my mom, and I decided what we would do. In the end I would say three things really helped me get through this postpartum period without succumbing to postpartum depression.
First, and probably most importantly: sleep. My mom basically moved in with us for the first few weeks, waking up with Tee's cries, tending to him until she had to get me to nurse him, sending me back to bed immediately after he finished eating, and putting him back to bed. She and Travis made the meals and with he and me sleeping well at night Mom was able to nap during the days. My mother-in-law also helped by relieving my mom and occasionally keeping the older kids at her home. I sat with the kids, rested, and nursed the baby - and for months that was pretty much all I did. In the months that followed those first six weeks I did not hesitate to put on a movie for the kids and nap, ask my mom or husband to watch the kids so I could sleep, and / or go to bed at 8pm.
Second, I allowed for a lot of quiet and introspection. I spent a lot of time observing how I felt physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I prayed, I read my Bible and Beautiful Mercy, I asked for other people to pray for me, and I used Jenna Hines' book 30 Days to Calm.
Finally, I took pills, but not medication like before. My midwife prescribed for me to take Omega-3 supplements (EPA-DHA 720, 1-2 at a time, four times a day) and Magnesium Glycinate (300mg, 4 at a time, 4 times a day). They were amazing. They helped me relax and just... feel good. I know that seems like a vague statement but it's true. If I started to feel overwhelmed I would take my pills and within thirty minutes I was calm and relaxed. I felt little to no anxiety and I slept better with them. I don't think these pills alone would have worked for bringing me out of my former PPD, but they were wonderfully helpful for keeping it bay this time.
In the end, this has possibly been the best year of my life. I have six amazing children, a husband who loves me immensely, and a devoted mom (and mother-in-law). As a family we have hit our stride and we are thriving, happy, and full of love. That might sound cheesy but I don't care. I've always like nachos.
PS - Speaking of babies, I was invited to be a contributor to the Waiting in His Word: A Couple's Journey Scripture Study on fertility. Nell, Nancy, and Laura have done a fabulous job of bringing together women and men with a wide variety of experiences: loss, adoption, infertility, hyper-fertility, foster care, and more. You can learn more and buy your copy here.
PPS - Not to sound silly, but I would love it if you'd vote for A Knotted Life over at the Fisher's Net Awards. I mean, who else gives you blog posts about food allergies, miracle babies, parochial school, parties, and fashion for barrel-shaped bellies? I mean, when it comes to that combination you know that I am the BEST.
PPS - I am definitely not saying that these three things are all you need to do to beat PPD, and please, please, please know that there is no shame in getting help - be it a therapist, medication, a nanny, etc - to overcome postpartum depression or any mental illness. If you think you have PPD please talk to your doctor or midwife. If you are still pregnant and worried about suffering through another bout of PPD, as I was while pregnant with Baby Tee, then perhaps this post will inspire you to think about your own triggers and create a plan with your loved ones so you can get the best care.
Here's a good ole fashioned Day in the Life post, complete with photos, some unedited to really throw it back to old school blogging. This is from yesterday and I did a mix of typing in chunks - so some of the time is 'ish' (like 9:15-ish) - and typing as I went - so some of the time is accurate. Some of it is summary and some of it is commentary but please note that this was both an ordinary day and a not so ordinary day. Usually I stay in bed until 6:30 and my kids do not get fresh, warm coffee cake for breakfast. Also, Mondays - Wednesdays we have morning activities but I'm thinking of keeping Thursdays to myself. It is so nice to have a long day at home (even if that means the mid-day transfer).
Okay, here goes!
4:23 - Thomas wakes up. Nurse him in the living room, like always. Listen to the downpour and feel bad for the garbage man who will have stinky, soggy trash to deal with.
4:37 - Lay back down in bed, super thirsty but don't drink anything and try to will myself back to sleep so I can sorta take a sorta accurate temp at 5am for my nfp charting. Dose off at some point.
5:00 - Alarm goes off, I take temp and wonder if I should go back to sleep or stay up.
5:30 - Stay up. I head to the kitchen and immediately start mixing up a double batch of coffee cake.
5:35 - Remember to turn on Mother Assumpta praying the rosary. (This is a tip I just learned on Instagram - a woman named Becky shared it on one of my pictures and I LOVED it! I pray along with the nuns when I can but I let them pray for me when the kids or life interrupt. Plus, as Becky stated, it creates an incredibly calm and beautiful atmosphere in our home and hopefully for the rest of their lives the rosary will remind my kids of peaceful times at home. Hopefully.)
5:38 - Travis comes out, ready for work. I stop the coffee cake and turn on the coffee for him. We discuss his work day, a bill, what time he'll be home, and dinner plans (pizza party for Mary's birthday!)
5:40 - Travis leaves, travel cup filled with coffee. (Because it's the little things, right? And in our marriage, me making him hot coffee for his morning commute is a way I can communicate my love to him... when he's not communicating his love to me by letting me sleep in.)
5:50 - Coffee cake goes in the oven. I check Facebook and then turn off the kitchen light, but leave the light on over the sink, and then walk around the house lighting candles, knowing the kids will love it as much as I do. Tidy up a bit as I go.
6:00 - I pour myself some coffee, put on a classical music playlist, and sit down with my Bible, opening it to the end of Mark, which I finished yesterday. Think about if I should read Mark again, choose another Gospel, or do an epistle. Say a quick prayer to the Holy Spirit and then...
6:10 - James calls out for his dad; I see him at the end of the hall so I turn on the light and invite him to come to me. We sit on the sofa together, snuggling in the dark, candlelit room.
6:15 - I wonder about getting up Bennet and Lydia, whose bus will come in 45 minutes but just then Ben comes into the living room, fully dressed and checking out the candles.
6:18 - L comes out and sits on the sofa, commenting on the candles. Ben asks if he can light up the jack-o-lantern which I currently have displayed as just a pumpkin because it's only September 8th. I tell him yes, because why not?, and then we go to the basement to find another votive candle, me carrying a folding chair and laundry basket with me.
6:20 - I put the chair away, fill the laundry basket with the kids' whites from the dryer, and walk back upstairs with Ben, who grabs and the matches and happily sets up his jack-o-lantern. I pull the coffee cake out of the oven.
6:25 - I begin to pack the kids' lunches and discuss which fruit option they all want. (Applesauce, apple slices, or grapes? And you better eat it, too!) Jofis comes down the hall and into the kitchen with his blankie over his head "wooooooo"ing and for the one thousandth time we all cry out, "There's a ghost in the house!" He pulls the blankie off, showing a huge grin and we all say, "Oh it's just Jofis!"
6:35 - I slice up and serve the coffee cake to JF, Ben, Jofish, and L. We pray the Morning Offering and Grace. I pick up a few things in the living room and grab a brush, ponytail holder, and bow. While L eats I do her hair.
6:45 - I go back to making the kids' lunches. Fill the water bottles, put everything in the bookbags, ask Ben if his homework is in his bag, thank the kids for bringing their plates to the sink and then send them to the bathroom to wash their hands and brush their teeth.
6:55 - Step outside to check how hard it's raining. Hear the kids' bus and call them out. Watch them run down the drive as I yell, like every day, "I love you. Have fun and make good choices." Watch the bus drive away and feel really content because they love school and I love our life. That sounds really cheesy and chipper but it's true and I'm grateful.
7:00 - Take a picture of the cake mix box and blue frosting to share on social media as a reminder that today's the Blessed Mother's birthday. PBS Kids gets turned on.
7:05 - Make breakfast for myself - eggs + bacon, wrapped in a tortilla. Freshen my coffee and sit down with my breakfast, planner, and Bible. Look over the day, my prayer intentions, my to-do's. Decide to go with an epistle and open my Bible to Titus. See that it's super short and dive in, reading the intro and first chapter. Sit with a couple of verses, thinking them over and praying about them, looking at my own life in comparison.
7:38 - Get Thomas out of his crib. Take him to the living room to nurse. Resa wakes up and comes out in the meantime.
7:40 - Change diapers, wash hands, get breakfast for Resa.
7:55 - Wash breakfast dishes. Decide to start this blog post, despite the fact that it has so far been an unusual and not at all typical day.
8:20 - JF gets on bus. I turn on PBS Kids.
8:25 - Play with Tee on the floor, watch the rain, freshen coffee.
8:45 - Put Tee in highchair for breakfast. Work on blog post while he eats.
8:50 - Draw bath for Jofis and Resa, divvy out bath toys and make a firm warning of "no shampoo or conditioner!"
9:15 - Tee is done with breakfast. Wipe him off and dump all crumbs on floor. Vacuum floor. Decide to cut his super long hair. Cut too much, giving him a "Caesar" haircut straight outta 1996.
9:30 - Kids are done with bath. While Tee plays in living room, go to bathroom to wash Jofis and Resa's hair. Tidy bathroom, note ring in tub that needs to be cleaned, turn off light.
9:40 - Put lotion and clothes on kids; brush their hair. Tell them to play while I work on blogging.
10:00 - Pull Tee out from under the table and lay him down for a nap. Try putting a pretty Cinderella dress on Resa only to have her take it off because it's itchy. Put on Halloween music at Jofis' request, pass out bananas, refill water, work on editing pictures for a blog post.
10:23 - Realize that I have to pick James up in 50 minutes and dash off to the shower, updating this blog post first - of course.
10:25 - Plug in computer to recharge, make bed, attend to personal hygene, try blow-drying hair to control frizz and fail.
10:55 - Exit room looking absolutely fabulous! (in yoga pants and a shirt I've already worn once this week.) Round up the kids and send them to the van. Wake a sleeping baby and notice how bad his hair looks. Shoot.
11:02 - Everyone is buckled in. I put Sara Groves in the cd player and we are rolling.
11:05 - Arrive at the public school. Sign JF out, chat with his aid, allow JF to carry the huge rainbow umbrella which means I walk in the rain. Whatevs.
11:15 - JF is buckled in and eating his lunch, we head over to the parochial school.
11:23 - Arrive at parochial school. JF and Resa need to use the bathroom. Jofis requests "Train Song" so I put in Johnny Cash cd and play "Orange Blossom Special." Take the two in for the bathroom and check in at the office. Go back to van so JF can finish his lunch. Just as I'm about to record a *brilliant* Instagram Story JF tells me he's done with his lunch and ready to go in.
11:40 - Take JF down to his classroom. (As an aside, JF *really* likes routine and he really likes me. He dislikes change and being on his own. We had just gotten to a point where he was comfortable doing drop off when there was outdoor recess. I would park by the sidewalk to the playground, his friends and siblings would help him out of the van, and I could drive away with him happy. But indoor recess is different and we're working on what to do. If you could say a prayer for us that would be great. I don't feel bad for him - I feel bad for the staff having to deal with my crying kid.)
11:50 - Chat with the principal and Spanish teacher about how I should best get James in school on indoor recess days.
11:55 - Back in the van, driving home.
12:05 - Put Tee in the high chair, cut up a banana and give him some Ritz crackers. Make salami and butter sandwiches for Resa, Jofis, and me while I watch the latest season of Once Upon a Time on Netflix. Call kids to the table, catch up this blog post, eat sandwich.
12:25 - Wipe down Tee, dump crackers on floor. Nurse Tee in family room and try to ignore the curtains that Jofis has arranged. Put him down so he can play, watch him do the worm across the floor. (Seriously, that's how he crawls. It's amazing.) Scroll through FB and IG.
12:40 - Begin to work on scouting stuff. Almost cry. Want to quit. Record an Instagram Story about it. Literally put head on counter. Sigh a bunch. Send a bunch of texts to Travis. Put Tee down for a nap. Email people. Continue to want to cry. Wonder how in the world other people do it. Resist the urge to drink or eat a bunch of chocolate.
1:24 - Bake Mary's birthday cake while watching Once Upon a Time so I can forget how dumb I feel for not understanding what the hell I'm supposed to be doing so my kids can have a wonderful time in Scouts. Okay, bake the cake.
1:41 - Cake in oven. Update calendar with all sorts of stuff. Text Travis about a sitter and camp and all kinds of stuff.
2:05 - Decorate family altar (aka the buffet) with all things Mary for her birthday. Tell kids it's time to turn off My Little Ponies and play.
2:27 - Tidy kitchen. Again. Get distracted and tidy living room. While taking dirty bib to laundry shoot remember ring in tub. Clean tub, sink, and toilet - praying for Steve Husband as I always do. Refill handsoap, clean master bath. Use term "master" loosely. Daydream of having more money so we can re-do the bathroom - at least the vanity!- and then the carpets... and then the windows... and then tell Jofis that he shouldn't play with the light saber in the bathroom. On the way back to kitchen notice the curtains in the family room and tidy family room, like 50%.
2:53 - Get back to kitchen. Unload and load dishwasher.
3:05 - Get Tee out of the crib. Nurse him and miss a phone call. Tell kids to get their shoes on. Change a poopy diaper. Tell kids to get their shoes on. Put Tee in carseat. Yell at kids for not having their shoes on; send shoeless kids to van.
3:15 - Head to parochial school to get kids, forgetting that we're done with the heat schedule so *errbody* (read: all public and private schools) is getting out at the same time and the drive is a bit slower.
3:30 - Arrive at school, unload three kids, walk over to where the kids are let out, count to six over and over and over again as I keep track of my kids. Load six kids (all mine) into van and head home. Tear up a little bit listening to this Sara Groves song:
3:55 - Daddy's home!!!!!! Unload. Yell at one kid who is pouting. Remind two kids to bring in their bookbags. Carry in baby Tee, noticing his haircut. geesh. Tell the kids they can only watch PBS Kids - no Netflix. Chat with Travis. Look through mail. Ask Trav to make pizza dough so it can rise while he runs to bank.
4:10 - Begin frosting cake. Drop the knife repeatedly. Clean up blue frosting from floor, kitchen cabinets, and my clothes. Praise Ben for his A+ spelling test. Praise L for seeing her brother in need and helping him without asking.
4:23 - Finish icing cake. Check out FB and IG. Yell at kids about after-school stuff. Look over L's homework. Put Tee in crib for nap. Take multiple phone calls reminding me about stuff.
4:38 - Go outside to pick oregano and begin sauce for pizza. Travis comes home and we have talk, argue, talk, hug, laugh, talk. He goes to living room with kids and I stay in kitchen a l o n e !
The rest of the evening went something like this: make dairy free pizza, burn my finger on the pizza pan, eat dinner with my finger in a glass of ice water, listen to four kids praise the pizza - one kid state she does not like the dairy free cheese - and Travis say nothing which means he also does not like the DF cheese but is kind enough to eat it for the sake of the rest of us, clear the table, quiz kids on spelling words, work on sight words, sing happy birthday to Mary, eat white cake with blue frosting, clean kitchen while slopping water all over the place (my finger is still in ice water) sorta oversee pj's and brushed teeth and clean diapers (were applicable), nurse baby Tee and put him down for bed - all still with my finger in the glass of ice water. Kids in bed by 8. Kitchen clean by 8:25. Finger still throbbing at 8:30 so some pain meds and then off to bed.
So who knew that writing about being poor would be such a popular topic?!
I was surprised by and grateful for all the kind, supportive words and I was impressed with all the great questions that came in the comboxes.
And when the series was over, I confess I knew that I should post some great follow up. I should have kept that momentum going with a wonderful Welcome to all my new readers, or some insightful further comments from the series, or I don't know, just a killer post.
But instead I took naps, baked mini apple pies, tidied the house, spent Friday night with some friends from my parish, attended a wedding, and went on a special outing with my kids, mom, and mother-in-law. I didn't take a bunch of pictures to edit and share on the blog. I didn't Instagram it all. I didn't write another post. The reason is because I'm a bad blogger, but I'm getting really good at living.
I'm not commenting on others' blogs or lives of course, but it is funny because I run a side business helping other bloggers grow their readership, make their goals, and better utilize social media. Basically, as a blogger myself I do exactly what I tell them to do and follow none of the advice they are usually looking for.
`
What I tell them to do is to blog so they enjoy it, otherwise they will grow to hate it. Blogging for me has always been a hobby. It's a nice way to communicate my thoughts and likes and family memories. Growing a blog, increasing hits, and gaining new readers and a significant income comes down to two things: a lot of work and at least a little bit of luck. I don't want to do all that work, I just want to write when I'm in the mood to write.
The minute blogging stops being fun and starts being work is when bloggers feel stressed and burnt out, it's why so many walk away from blogging. Now there are a lucky few who happen to love the work of blogging so for them it continues to be life-giving, but that wouldn't be me.
So I guess I want you to know that about me: by many standards I'm a Bad Blogger because I don't always make shareable graphics, I don't post on a regular basis, and I'm not writing "click bait" titles. But by my standards I'm a Great Blogger because I've been doing this for eight years and I still enjoy it. I don't get caught up in the stats and I don't sweat it if I walk away for a bit so I can focus on life.
It's a lesson I had to learn over those eight years, and my blogging is definitely different than it used to be. For example, I used to share lots of pictures of the kids but not any more. About a year ago I had this realization that while many of my regular readers do care about my family there are plenty of people who pop over here because of Sheen's cause who don't really care at all about my family. They are consuming a story and then they move on. I don't want them knowing all the details about my kids, so I shut down the blog for a bit (having a bit of a freak out moment), and when I came back I stopped using their real names and started only sharing pictures of their faces that are blurry or partial.
Again, it's not a comment on any other blogger or how they do things, it was just what I needed to do. And I thought you should probably know that, too.
So I guess this is that follow up post I knew I needed to write. It's not a killer one, but it's one I wanted to write - a little chat about blogging.
Thanks for reading, guys. Thanks for showing up again and again and for being a part of my community. You're the best.
And with Kendra bringing back the Answer Me This link-up for the summer, well how could I stay away? She's got some good questions, so let's get going.
1. Any big plans for the summer?
Sleeping in, napping, eating lots of fruit, hitting up the farmers' market - those are the little things but they actually are big plans for me because I look forward to them every summer. There won't be any trips further than the Chicagoland area, but we are looking forward to a friend's baby shower, my sister-in-law's bridal shower, the big family gathering that happens every 4th of July with Travis' family, and the upcoming Sheen Family Day.
2. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?
There were three sassafrass trees that grew up from the same spot so that the bottoms of their trunks grew into one another. At one point my dad cut off another sapling that was growing up from the trunk base, creating a flat spot, right next to a small knot / whole in one of the trunks. There was also a little dip in the gathered trunks. All together it looked like the entrance to a fairy's home with a well right outside the door. I believed a fairy did live there and drank that water, and I would leave her flowers and whatnot.
Turns out some young boys - who shall not be named - would pee in the "well" making it most definitely not suitable for habitation or magical fairy water.
ahem.
3. What is your favorite amusement park ride? (can be a specific one at a specific park or just a type of ride)
Growing up I always loved riding The Scrambler at our town's Old Settler Days fair. Any more, though, my motion sickness won't let me tolerate any such rides, though I think I would probably like bumper cars.
4. What's on your summer reading list?
This summer I'll be reading the Little House Rocky Ridge books and Pioneer Girl. That should keep me pretty busy, but when I'm done I'd like to read Bossy Pants by Tina Fey after a friend recommended it.
5. Have you ever fallen asleep in public?
Do airplanes count? Because I've fallen asleep multiple times on airplanes. Also at adoration. Once at a theater.
6. What is your favorite smell?
Fresh baked bread is probably my favorite, but any freshly baked item - pie, cake, cookies, rolls, muffins - all smell fabulous.
