We had been meaning to go for a very long time and often one of us would remind the other on Wednesday, "Tomorrow is adoration and we should go!" Thursday Travis would come home from work and one of us would say, "Don't let me forget about adoration!" And then we'd both forget, remembering just in time for it to be too late to attend.
But last night we had an early dinner and the kids' homework was finished and we remembered and so we went.
There were ten or fifteen other people there, all adults, and they all sat with God in the silence. And we came bumbling in, with boots and coats and children's bibles, and one-two-three-four-five kids and a newborn. We sat in the back, hoping to be as inconspicuous as possible. The baby fussed until he latched on to nurse. The two year old took out hymnals and dropped a few with a thud on the floor. Both girls had to use the bathroom.
We made it almost thirty minutes. They weren't awesome, but I was able to squeeze in a some prayers and so was my husband and maybe so were my kids. Travis didn't feel quite as positively about it as I did but no one glared so I thought we could try it again.
And then Travis got a phone call. One of the women who had been at adoration with us went home, looked up our phone number in the church directory, and called him just so she could let us know that she was glad we were there. She was glad we brought our children. She thought he was a good father and doing a great job and she hoped we would be back because what a wonderful thing - for a family to attend adoration together.
And I realized that there have been so many stories of times we weren't welcome at church but not enough stories of all the times we were. Those who grumble have no place here, not in this post, because there are Catholic churches that are filled with people who are so glad families are there, who are so grateful for the presence of children.
That woman who called us last night was a great gift for us in our parenting and so are all the people - most of them empty nesters and grandparents - who have taken the time to greet us before or after Mass, to shake our hands, to meet our children, to compliment our kids, to reminisce about when they were raising their four-five-six kids.
Our fellow parishioners have told us about their grandchildren who live far away. They have thanked us for our generosity in being open to life. One woman crocheted us a baby blanket and hat. When I was missing from Mass after giving birth many approached Travis and asked about the baby. Each Sunday Judy slaps Travis' back and tells him what a good man he is and shakes our kids' hands. Each Sunday our priests chat with our children and converse with us.
We are welcomed at Mass. We were welcomed at adoration. We are welcome at church.
#wewerewelcomed #letthechildrencometoHim
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| Image by Stefan Kunze |
If you have a positive story to tell of a time when you and your family were welcomed at church please feel free to share in my combox, on your own blog, or on social media. Use the hashtags #wewerewelcomed #letthechildrencometoHim so we can encourage one another and thank the Body of Christ.
Well isn't your Parish awesome?! Man I wish I had one that great.
ReplyDeleteIt is awesome. I think a big part of our experience, though, is that we usually attend the 7am Mass. Every family I know who has ever attended that Mass has had a similar welcome. And I think pastors play a huge role in that - they set the precedent for how families and little children will be treated.
DeleteOur associate pastor spent the last 20 years in Europe and he is always amazed and thrilled to see so many families with young children. He says that in Europe, there are no little kids. He and our pastor love and embrace the noisy children at weekday and Sunday Masses.
ReplyDeleteReally? No children at mass in Europe - that must be an exaggeration. Europe is made up of many countries and Italy in particular has many children at mass - Germany also.
DeleteThis makes me happy, especially because I grew up in your parish. My dad picks up your kids on the school bus. :) I'm so blessed to be in a parish where my kids are welcome, and where I'm regularly encouraged for bringing my children to Mass. When I (occasionally) manage to get out of bed and dressed and to wrangle all the littles to make it to morning Mass, there has NEVER been a time where our deacon hasn't come up to thank me for bringing them to Mass. I always keep it in the back of my mind that when I'm older and my kids are gone (or at least sit quietly during Mass), I want to go out of my way to encourage the mom and the dad with restless children who are THERE.
ReplyDeleteI began attending daily Mass with my toddler, following the morning drop off of the other kids at school. I'm already there, so there is no excuse for not going. My toddler has started behaving better at Sunday Mass as a result, and the older folks get many a chuckle at the little kid antics, including running off to the altar in the middle of consecration. I am slightly embarrassed, however. I have received both reactions from people at my parish. It is always encouraging when someone tells me to keep trying, or that the sight of my busy kids makes them enjoy coming to Mass that much more. In turn, having been on the receiving end of backlash for my kids making noise, I make a point to encourage other parents struggling with their children in church. They need it just as much as I have.
ReplyDeleteWe used to be at a larger parish where there are many children. I have several friends happy there, but for whatever reason, we never loved it. Summer of '14 we went to another local church because the time worked better Saturday night that week. Multiple people thanked us for bringing our 2 year old with us to mass and told us they were happy we were there. We went back a few times through the summer and every time they told us they were happy we were there. We aren't blessed to be a large family, but for some reason I felt that they were happy we were there with our small family.
ReplyDeleteAt the time I was pregnant with my daughter, and even then I felt that her job was to save souls. She ended up passing at 36 weeks pregnant, but at that point, we had fully switched to All Souls Parish. It is very fitting how it all worked out. I am so thankful for the smiling friendly people.
Here's one story of how we felt welcomed at church.
ReplyDeletehttp://martinfamilymoments.blogspot.com/2012/07/kindness-of-strangers.html?m=1
We also get a blanket knit for each baby, two weeks of meals, and have a lively prayer line with multiple emails each day offering prayers for those who need it. I love our church!! And I loved this story!!!!
Aw I love this. We have experienced the same. I go to Mass every Friday morning, with only the baby and the eldest, but all of us go on Sunday. The people who go to Daily Mass really and truly look on us as one of their own. They all know my name and all the kids' names and I don't know most of theirs. The only lady who has ever been rude to us during Mass was a visitor. :) It really makes such a difference to feel like you not only are welcome, but belong at your church.
ReplyDeleteAw I love this. We have experienced the same. I go to Mass every Friday morning, with only the baby and the eldest, but all of us go on Sunday. The people who go to Daily Mass really and truly look on us as one of their own. They all know my name and all the kids' names and I don't know most of theirs. The only lady who has ever been rude to us during Mass was a visitor. :) It really makes such a difference to feel like you not only are welcome, but belong at your church.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful and encouraging story! Thanks for sharing! I bring our 1 year old to daily Mass a few times a week, and we are both often the two youngest there. All of the older parishioners have loved watching James grow up and go out of their way to encourage me and thank me for bringing him, especially on the more obviously trying days. They refer to him as "our baby", and it makes me so happy knowing that James is cared about and prayed for by the wisest of our community!
ReplyDeleteI totally love this, Bonnie! Our 1-year old has been rather, um, vocal at Mass lately (as most are!) and afterwards one weekend an older lady came up to us asking which of our boys was "singing." You know, the nice way of saying "your kid was loud." Then she said "Bring them to Mass! I'd rather them here then at home!" Just a few words like that are so encouraging.
ReplyDeleteAnd I definitely agree about the pastor setting the tone. We got a new priest this year and he's constantly telling the congregation to bring children and that they're welcome. It's obvious that he thinks families are so important to the Church. Our parish has seen an increase in Mass attendance among young families (we used to be one of the few and now there are SO many), and I know our priest plays a big part in that!
Someone from my in-laws' parish called me in January to tell me how impressed she was with my kids at Christmas Eve mass! I couldn't believe she took the time to find Linda to get my number and call multiple times (because who answers a strange number these days?) just to tell me something nice! I just didn't think people did that. I did tell her that mostly I think the kids were freaked out because mass was absolutely packed and we got split up, but they really are usually good at Mass. The lady said I should start a parenting blog...ha ha ha! It's really funny because I didn't actually end up sitting by any of my own kids. One was with grandma, two were with dad and I ended up with a nephew.
ReplyDeleteWow. How good of her!
DeleteYes, this is such a good point! I've had both positive and negative experiences at our own parish, but for the most part, everyone is welcoming. And the fact that we are surrounded by people who are mostly encouraging and kind makes it a whole lot easier to ignore the very few unkindnesses we've experienced. There will always be grumps, but a multitude of small kindnesses overcome them!
ReplyDeleteThat is so incredible that the woman took the time to call and tell you that. So thoughtful!
ReplyDeleteOur Church has always been very friendly, and I like that in each pew book-notch, there is a big blue card about how children are welcome, and we shouldn't leave when our children get loud, because the Holy Spirit is the one that "put the wiggle in them" so he understands, and Jesus wants the children to be there.
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome.
DeleteWhat great timing to read this as I am starting a parents with young children adoration hour at my church! While they are always welcome, it might help to know there is an hour that I will always be there with mine. Reverence will be a priority, but it will look different-each to their own ability.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful family event! That is so cool.
DeleteA couple of months ago 3 of my 4 kids were HORRIBLE during Sunday mass. No matter what my husband or I did, we just couldn't get them under control. Add to this the fact that I was only a few weeks postpartum and completely exhausted and overwhelmed. After Mass ended, I was trying to collect myself enough to round everyone up so we could leave. A sweet elderly man in the pew behind us put his hand on my shoulder and simply told me I had a beautiful family. And then the tears started and I couldn't get them to stop! I will always remember his kindness. It had a much greater impact than someone chastising me or giving me a dirty look.
ReplyDeleteShoot, now I'm crying! God sends angels right when you need them.
DeleteI love hearing stories like this! My oldest has D.S., and he can be tough to manage during Mass (and my husband is not Catholic, so he's not there to help). I end up stressed about both his behavior and what other people are thinking; friendly smiles and comments from other parishioners always mean the world to me.
ReplyDeleteI take my 3 to mass and we sit either in the 1st or 2nd pew. We are surrounded by a family with 5 children, another family with 3 children, behind us a family with 2 boys and a mama who is beautifully pregnant, and across the way a family with 4 children. Our kids are NOT perfect but boy does it help to be around other families with lots of children AND to have a priest that reminds us every mass that he is so glad we have brought our children.
ReplyDeleteI take my 3 to mass and we sit either in the 1st or 2nd pew. We are surrounded by a family with 5 children, another family with 3 children, behind us a family with 2 boys and a mama who is beautifully pregnant, and across the way a family with 4 children. Our kids are NOT perfect but boy does it help to be around other families with lots of children AND to have a priest that reminds us every mass that he is so glad we have brought our children.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post! As someone who grew up Catholic, it's easy to forget that we need to go out of our way to welcome new families.
ReplyDeleteAwesome story, thanks for sharing! And can I add one thing on my mind lately? The response I have in my head while at mass with my children sounds prideful, but I promise it's from a place of love and gratefulness to God, all in an effort to gain some sanity. When I walk in church with my children I look around and I think "you're welcome." Now hear me out! I know that sounds bad. But it starts with a deep realization that I am nothing without my Lord and He gave me everything I needed to get to mass. But if I ever feel awkward about my crazy children I think "We're here. And you are all welcome." You're welcome because I am raising the next generation of our faith and I'm raising them to love the Lord. You know what's worse than an atheist? A half-hearted Catholic. Nothing does more damage to our faith and witness. But I show up with my children, even when it's hard, and I teach them about Jesus, even when I just want to get a babysitter so I can go to mass alone. My faith tells me I can't use contraception, so here are my children. Then they tell me I need to be at mass every Sunday, so here we are. Then we show up and there's no nursery. So I take my children before the Blessed Sacrament, I point to it and whisper "look, it's Jesus!" And (after praying the Litany of Humility daily) I let the words "you all should be glad we're here" sink in deep and I'm able to just let. it. go. All of the resentment that may be boiling up because I perceive that other people are annoyed: gone. I don't worry about it anymore and it's so freeing because half the time I think we moms suspect someone is glaring at us when they really are not. So there it is: self-preservation and confidence, without attitude or anger. (I really hope I can convey that it's not mememe all the time and I do remove my children when they are screaming. I want others to have a great experience at mass, too. But trying to be a 50's Catholic in a Millennial-Convert body just ain't for me. And when I see parents sit with a child who is CRAZY and they won't leave, even though homeboy is losing his mind, I just pray for them. I thank God that they are there and I pray that kid will do great things for the Kingdom of God. Because that is pro-life. Loving people even when they annoy you and you're trying to be pious. That is truly being pro-life.) So kudos to that woman for calling your husband. Life is messy- let's stick together even when we can't stand each other. *Catholic Fist Bump*
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