What I Learned in Kindergarten

In the next three weeks I will have three first days of school. L begins first grade on tomorrow, Monday. The following Monday JF will begin pre-k 3 and the week after that Ben will begin pre-k 4.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year!"

 If you can't tell from my mantel, I am looking forward to it.

Last year I was so nervous, so sentimental. This year I am so tired. But I also understand things now that I didn't a year ago, especially after some recent conversations, one with some friends and one with a priest .

In kindergarten I learned that I am definitely an introvert and often I am shy, even if I sometimes test ENFJ. Even so, I want a strong community of women of all ages and stages - real, Catholic women who celebrate feast days and go to confession and are embracing their crosses or just trying to because it can be so hard sometimes, dangit! I want women who laugh and drink and pray and I want to them to exist as a group which is full of mentors. I want the older moms to teach the younger moms and the younger moms to teach the youngest moms. I also learned in kindergarten that such a group does not exist at my parish and I have no idea what to do about it. I just learned that maybe that's my problem to fix and maybe it's not and I need to pursue that answer with real humility. (Lord, have mercy and help me with that one, please.)

I learned in kindergarten that I'm looking for whole families of fellow parishioners (I don't even care if your kids attend home, public, or the parochial school) who will walk with my family as we embrace our faith which is true, beautiful, sometimes weird, sometimes hard, and often very fun.

Wise owls.

I learned in kindergarten that I am not the only one wanting my children's school to be a place filled with the Holy Spirit, engaging kids academically and spiritually. I also came to understand that there are parents at my children's school who have chosen it because they went to private school, liked it, and want something similar for their kids. I understand that all of us are at different stages of life, grief, holiness... we are all doing the best we can with what we have.

Politically incorrect chalkboard, anyone? Yes, please.

More than anything, what I learned in kindergarten, after two years of pathetic attempts at super basic "homeschool" preschool (we're talking letter, shape, and number recognition here along with a little catechism), is that I need structure and I am really bad at giving it to myself. Our days ran so much more smoothly when the school day made us get up, get dressed, and be out the door by a certain time. Our home was immeasurably more peaceful following the school day routine. And perhaps most importantly I thrived with that schedule. Thrived.

I understand that through the next three weeks my life will be pretty rough. Grumpy kids, tired and worn out from new schedules, learning, playing, and new friends, will come home hungry and ready for a nap. I also understand that after those adjustment weeks we will hit a pace and we will all thrive.

JP's birthday present worked perfectly.

I was reminded recently that God called us to this school. He made it obvious that to me over the course of one weekend that my children should be at the parish school. Kendra told me recently that she thinks "some of us are called to a modified cloistered vocation and some of us are called to a modified missionary vocation within our vocation to motherhood. Both are good." Wow, I could not agree more and I'm so grateful for that perspective. Obviously because God has called us to our parish school there is some aspect of missionary work He wants us to do and to also be the recipients of. That's exciting to me and also a little intimidating but God is good and wants what is best for me.

In kindergarten I saw again and again how blessed we are and how good people are. In kindergarten I saw how wonderful a Catholic education* can be. Looking back at the last school year I can tell you confidently that this really is the most wonderful time of the year: school is starting and there are friends to be made, new learning experiences to be had, a little bit more quiet in my home. ;)


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About my mantle:

My friend Amanda inspired my mantel with her awesome one:

I was so inspired that I literally pulled up her picture on Facebook and ran around my house, collecting things to use for my own.

I took some objects from other parts of my house - owl candle from the kitchen, books from the living room, chalkboard and alphabet toy from playroom - and put them all together. Not as cute as Amanda's but still pretty cute, if I do say so myself.

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* I feel like I should make a disclaimer. I know that Catholic education is not an option for a lot of you. Some Catholic schools are more elitist private schools and they very much lack any sort of orthodoxy and faith. Some Catholic schools are just too expensive, have no scholarships or multiple-children discounts, or are too far away. This post is not to make anyone feel bad about not giving their kids a Catholic education. Public, private, or homeschool: you do NOT have to defend your schooling choice to me! No way! I support you! And salute you! And cheer you on!