Starting Right Here: A Happy New Year

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash
Lyrics from JJ Heller's This Year

It's negative one outside with a windchill of negative 17. I'm wearing my slipper boots and cardi and drinking warm tea with honey cause baby, it's cold outside! And this post may be a heavy dose of navel gazing but my fingers want to type and I want to write this out and so I hope you don't mind sitting with me through this.

(Here's hoping my kids will play by themselves long enough to let me do it!)

Thirteen months ago started a really, really rough time for me. Sickness, death, grief, hard parenting, open heart surgery for L, and major surgery for me. Months and months of hard but I remember holding my sweet newborn while recovering from my second c-section and thinking to myself, "It's all done. We're through the thick of it." And especially as the school year started and a routine was established I saw us all thrive and I felt like it was really true. In my prayer I felt this
 p e a c e  like an exhale and I repeatedly had this image of a clearing in the woods. The woods, dense and dark and scary, were behind me and in the distance there were more woods, though not has thick or scary. But I was standing in an open field with tall green grass and sweet flowers.

In September I attended the Blessed Is She writers' retreat and there the fabulous Beth Davis was praying over me. She said, "Bonnie, I don't know if this will mean anything to you but I just see this huge field of wildflowers for you" and BAM: ugly cry. There it was from someone else - the same Holy Spirit showing the same promise for me to both of us. I will readily admit, I was overwhelmingly relieved.

It was at that same retreat, though, that Travis called me to let me know that he was at the emergency room because he was experiencing loss of balance, numbness, and other signs of a stroke. The ER doctor thought it was actually his body reacting to stress and exhaustion (football season + seven kids + hard work around home) and I wasn't scared. Because that field of wildflowers was as good as Noah's rainbow.

I came home from the retreat and there were more tests for Travis. Our family doctor suspected that Travis had MS which was showing itself because of exhaustion and stress but I held out hope. In the end all the neurological issues went away with allergy medicine and sleep. Seriously. And the words from Isaiah rang so true in my heart, "God indeed is my Savior. I am confident and unafraid."

Halloween and Thanksgiving and Advent came and went. Our family was healthy and happy with the kids growing and learning and things going well. A clearing in the woods, filled with thriving wildflowers.

And as the New Year approached people started talking about adopting a saint and a word of the year. I've never done the word of the year thing before because, well, I thought it was weird, but as the conversations began I remembered that St. John Paul the Great was the saint appointed to me by Jennifer Fulwiler's saint generator last year. Back then I thought, "Oh yeah! He's great! What wonderful, evangilistic things will come my way?" but now I see that he probably wanted to walk with me through all that suffering and I had, for the most part, forgotten about him. Stupid me.

But this year I am paying attention. I have this feeling that God is calling me to do beautiful work for Him in the hidden, quiet, normal of my home and daily life as wife and mom. St. Cecilia was the saint given to me this year and I think she wants to show me how to live so that my heart is always glorifying God.

And this year I decided to try the whole word of the year thing and as I prayed about it, at home and Mass and adoration, I kept coming back to the word "be." It isn't flashy, in fact it seems to reinforce the hidden and quiet that I already mentioned. And then (!) the word that was randomly chosen for me from Jen's word of the year generator was BLOSSOM. It's different than thrive, you know, which seems to have to do with *doing* whereas blossom seems to be about *being.* Just do what you do, be who you are meant to be and you will blossom... in a a field of wildflowers... in a clearing in the woods.

There is a peace in heart and a hope in my Lord and I know that whatever happens God is good.

You can find your saint here.
Have a word of the year picked here.

There's More Than One Way to Be a Mom

When it comes sex, marriage, and babies I have done everything the traditional way.

My husband and I waited for our wedding night to have sex. Then a few months later we went on our honeymoon to Scotland and came back really liking one another.

The baby that was conceived from our post-honeymoon fondness was Peter Mark. He was my first baby and though he was only alive for a couple of months and only in my womb, he is the one who made me a mother.

Since I lost Peter in May of 2007 I have since had five more babies. L and Ben and JF and Resa and JP

If Peter made me a mother then these five have made me a better mother, pushing and challenging and loving me more than I ever knew was possible.

A lot of women have similar stories to mine. We got married, got pregnant, and had our babies. But I know there's many mothers in the world who have very different stories about how they became moms. This week, as we look forward to Mother's Day, I want to acknowledge those mothers and their stories and journeys.

This week I am honored to have several friends guest post, talking about how they became moms for the fist time - sometimes through very difficult circumstances. My hope is that we can celebrate all women who have brought life into the world - that we can celebrate all mothers.

The rest of the posts are:
- Sarah's story on adoption through foster care.
- Melissa's story on being a birth mom who placed her son with an adoptive family.
- A woman's story of being a teenage mother.

Dear Blogger Moms of Older Kids,

Dear Rachel, Dwija, Mary, Cari, Kelly, Mary Kate, Jessica, Nancy, Kathryn, Susan, and many more,

I've been scrolling through my Facebook feed and over and over again I see your beautiful faces and your beautiful kids. I see your handsome husbands and your cute dresses and all the smiles. And I want to tell you something:

I have five little kids. The oldest is nearly six, the youngest is only nine months. I feel like I have finally hit a good stride and, with the grace of God, I have a lot of things under control. But I wonder and I worry about what will happen as my kids get older.

Will this one ever learn to think of others first? Will that one struggle with school? Will this one resent decisions I've made? Will that one be a flirt? Will they all grow in virtue? Will they love God and their faith? Will they make good decisions about dating and sex and college and parties and friends? 

I am happily married and I have been for over seven years. I really like my husband - I like spending time with him and hanging out with him and talking about things with him. And I really like my husband - see the five kids above. He is an amazing man - a strong leader, a humble servant, a man of many talents and capabilities and a good sense of humor. But I wonder about rough patches that every marriage seems to have.

Will we have one? How will we navigate through it? How do I encourage him and not nag? How do I support and follow him when I disagree, when I'm scared, when I'm nervous? 

 I am eighty shameful pounds heavier now than I was when I got married. Six pregnancies in six years and a NICU stay and all kinds of emotional eating have left me round. Embarrassingly round.

Will I ever lose this weight? Will I have the time to exercise and do school drop off and pick up and attend daily Mass and keep the house clean and read blogs? Will I ever again fit into that Everyone Loves a German Girl t-shirt I've been holding on to for all these years?



All these thoughts, worries, questions: You answer them for me. When I see your pictures, when I read your Facebook updates and blog posts and tweets I breathe out a little sigh of relief.

Your beautiful, handsome, happy children seem so confident, funny, kind, thoughtful, eager to learn, and happy to be Catholic, even though you don't hide the hard. Your marriages seem happy, fulfilling, not without their crosses but also not without their deep, sustaining joys. Your lives seem balanced, even if that means that you are having to shift the balances every few months, seasons, or years.

I see you take the time to pursue things you love and enjoy: running, fashion, photography, chickens, gardens, writing, crafts, pampering and cooking.
I see you take the time to enjoy, encourage, support, play with, read to and love your children, meeting them where they are and raising them to the next level.
I see you take the time to honor, love, respect, care for, date, and enjoy your husbands.
I see you take the time to nurture friendships, to pray with and for your friends, to surprise them with flowers and cookies and phone calls.
I see you live a life pursuing God, finding time for prayer, enjoying and living and celebrating your faith, reading your Bible, sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ.

Your presence online is a presence in my life and I am so grateful. You are a role model for me. The words you write, the pictures you post, the quotes you share, the prayers you offer - these are sustaining and encouraging me through these years of little kids, of a still-young marriage, of eighty pounds.

Please know that I appreciate the gift you give. Please know that as you share your life you are giving me hope. Please know that I am so grateful.

So very, very grateful.

May our good God bless you and tell you "Well done, good and faithful servant."

xo,
Bonnie

6 years of our holy family

Once upon a time, this girl

Her name is Bonnie, and she had great legs.  

and this boy

His name is Travis, and he was pretending to be the Karate Kid.

were good friends.

And then one day they realized they really liked each other.  A friend was in a musical and invited Travis to come.  Travis said he'd go when Hell froze over... which happened later that week when Bonnie said she'd love to see the musical for their first date.

Two weeks later, after watching

they sat on a couch and more or less said "I love you" for the first time and decided to get married.

Bonnie got her

and they looked over possible dates.  They settled on a date almost 7 months later, December 30th.  It was the Vigil of the Feast of the Holy Family and during the Octave of Christmas and on a holiday weekend.

They were told they were rushing and at times they were worried, but they were confident that God wanted them together.  So they went ahead and got hitched.

And they went on their Scottish honeymoon.

Where the adorable elderly tour guide thought it was more important to get feet in the picture than  the beautiful castle ruins behind them.

And then because

they had

Peter Mark

who they lost and still mourn.

But God blessed them with

L

and 16 months later

Ben

and 54 weeks later 

JF

and 20 months later

Resa

And in the meantime they sold

so they could put a down payment on a house that looked like

and Travis worked really hard and made it look like

They had some ups

like the Behold Conference

and a Boston vacation

and downs along the way.

a stillborn and 7 weeks in the NICU

They got to know some new friends.

Venerable Sheen, pray for us!

And they enjoyed their super cute kids

And they lived happily ever after, laughing at each other's jokes, bickering, and him appreciating her ability to stay within budget (most of the time) and her appreciating his ability to work hard and still come in and play with the kids at the end of the day.

Happy Feast of the Holy Family to everyone!

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life!

7 quick takes

1 - I haven't really felt like my marriage is "dancing in minefields" but I like the analogy nonetheless.  I think this song is beautiful.

2 - Speaking of marriage - in the five years that I've been hitched to Travis we have both gained a lot of weight.  I won't tell you how much but my awesome cooking and four babies in four years have not been good for our waistlines.  We are finally doing something about it.  Travis bought the Insanity videos and I started Weight Watchers.  I feel stupid even mentioning it but I'm sincerely hoping that by next summer I will look a lot more like this:

Yes, I want to be thin again.  With naturally curly hair again.  Eating a Belgian waffle in Belgium again.

3 - Did you hear the good news about Hallie and Dan Lord?  Dan, whom you may know as Mr. Betty Beguiles, has been named the new editor for Catholic Exchange!  Congratulations are definitely in order, so CONGRATULATIONS!  Bloggers I love such as Patrick Madrid, House Unseen's Dwija, and Clan Donaldson's Cari write at Catholic Exchange, which features all kinds of great content.  I'm super excited for Dan and his family.

Also, right now Catholic Exchange is in the midst of their summer fundraising.  Why not drop by and donate a little bit of money to make sure this great site is able to keep up the good work?

4 - Here is an example of why I do not do ecological breastfeeding:  Last night Resa slept from 9:30pm until 7:30am.  That means I got to sleep through the night, too.  THANK YOU, JESUS!!!!

5 - Today I will get my hair cut.  And I want my bangs to look like this:

I don't know if this will work on me because of my longer hair but I'm liking the short bang look.  Here's hoping it looks cute!

6 - I am super excited to say that this July my friend Sr. MN will be professing final vows with the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia, aka the Nashville Dominicans.  Sister was my best friend in college and it was a lot of fun to watch her revert to her Catholic faith, fall in love with Christ, discern religious life, and have to learn how to sew.  (She was horrible at sewing but every nun needs to know how to do it I guess.  It's a habit thing, I think.)  I have been a horrible pen pal with her, and each child makes me even worse, but I love her and have such wonderful memories of eating ice cream, singing along to Keith Urban's Blue Jean Song, and watching her play laser tag. 

We're not sure if the whole family can go or not.  I really want her to meet my kids but a seven hour drive and a night in a hotel room followed by good behavior at a long Mass sounds like a disaster for my family of six.  There's also the fact that we really can't afford to pay for any of this.  I tried thinking of ways to raise money for it.  I could bake pies, do a garage sale, clean people's homes, or be really tacky and ask for cash for my birthday.  I could probably whip together a yard sale, right?  And sell some fruit pies at the sale? 

Or we could win the lottery.

7 - Our 12 year old neighbor boy was visiting while the kids and I were playing outside yesterday.  He looked at Resa and said, "I think she looks like you."

"Oh yeah?  Thanks."

"Yeah; you have the same red dots on your face."

Awesome.  My precious daughter and I look alike because we both have acne.

Here's hoping everyone has a great weekend!  Head over to Jen's for more Quick Takes! 

Let's all drink a beer.  It's only 5 points. ;)

the wait was well worth it

It all began when I first heard the Goyte song Somebody That I Used to Know, which means this post has been floating around in my head for about two months.  In case you don't know the song I'll put a fully clothed cover of it right here, though you can find the original song and video here.



Every time I listen to this song I think of the somebodies that I used to know, guys I once dated / hung out with / crushed on / flirted with / impressed with my "flux capacitor" t-shirt.  Some of the guys I kissed, some I did not.  Some of the guys I remember with great embarrassment and some I can barely remember at all.  Pretty much all of them that I kissed I wish I had not.

And all of this makes me thank God that I was a virgin when I got married.  Unfortunately there are guys in that list above with whom I did more than kiss; there were times when being pure and chaste were not of the highest importance.  There were times when we were not leaving much room at all for the Holy Spirit.  And honestly, it makes me a little sick to my stomach when I think about that.  I really do regret those relationships with guys who are no more than people that I used to know and I simultaneously am very grateful that I never had sex with them.

Having run in Christian circles for a long time I have heard a kabillion times why I should "save myself for marriage."  When I was young and single I pretty much thought it was a good idea, with a dash of doing what the Church told me, with a healthy dose of fear of pregnancy, STDs, and having people disappointed in me.  But now that I am married I can see all the reasons why it was so good that I did wait and many of those reasons I don't think I could have ever fully appreciated without knowing what I know now.

One reason I'm super glad I didn't have sex outside of marriage is because I married a virgin.  He didn't have to worry about any tag-along diseases I was bringing into the marriage and neither did I.  Our conversation about sex was pretty easy to have:  You've never had sex?  I've never had sex.  I'll see ya on our wedding night.  It was completely clear that the pressure to have sex would not be present during our dating or our engagement (which is not to say we weren't tempted).

So when our wedding night came, well, it was awkward and painful. I won't go into any details, I'll just stick with those two adjectives. The good thing, though, is that I was with my best friend and a man who was 100% committed to me.  My husband and I laughed together as we figured things out together.  I didn't have to be sexy or afraid. I didn't feel vulnerable or unsure if I was making a good decision.  When I have seen scenes in movies or tv of a couple losing their virginity or even just having sex together for the first time (scenes I am assuming are based on real people's real experiences) it is nothing like what I experienced.  And I what I experienced was my husband loving me, adoring me, enjoying being with the whole of me.  He was giving 100% of himself to me.  Only me.  Always me.  Looking into my eyes, wanting only me forever.  It was truly beautiful.  While still remaining awkward and painful. 

Closely related to all that is the fact I never had to worry about him comparing me to some other woman he'd slept with (was she thinner, prettier, better in bed?) and vice versa.  As it turned out the man I was meant to marry was engaged to someone before me.  Their relationship was pretty pure but I still felt a lot of insecurity (because I'm insecure) especially in the beginning of our marriage.  Had he been sexually active with his former fiance it would have been very, very difficult for me.  I realize that this  may not be the same for everyone but for my husband it would have been.  I suspect that this single issue would still be rearing its ugly head, especially when our marriage hits a rough patch.  It's better to not even have that issue to deal with.

Lastly, I do want to say that of the guys I dated and did not marry there is only one whom I completely respect and sincerely wish the best.  Unlike all the other guys I do not consider him "somebody that I used to know" but instead as a man that I briefly dated.  The only thing that separates him from the others is that his intentions were clear and godly and he never even held my hand.  I think those things illustrate the amount of respect he had for my eternal soul and for my future husband.  I can appreciate any man who is that good, especially a man who has that much respect for the man I did marry - whom I consider to be the best of men.

I do not assume that all the people who read this were or will be virgins on their wedding day and I sincerely hope I didn't shame or judge you.  I have enough to be ashamed about and I didn't write this post to make myself look or feel better.  But if you are still a virgin I hope that sharing my experiences may reaffirm the decisions you've made.  And if you are unmarried but not a virgin I pray that something I wrote will make you rethink your decision to be sexually active outside of marriage. 

I was 25 when I got married and the wait was well worth it.  The man I gave, not lost but gave, my virginity to is not "somebody that I used to know."  He is not a person who "screwed me over" and I had to cut out of my life.  He was a man who waited for me, not even knowing it was me he was waiting for.  He is a man of virtue, character, and selflessness.  He is a man who loves and adores me.  He is a man who I can wholly give myself to and trust that he will protect, love, and care for me for the rest of his life.  Like I said, the wait was well worth it.

*****

If you're interested I also point you to this article from the New York Times, The downside of cohabitating before marriage.

And now watch this:

Christmas Review #3 - the 7 quick takes edition

-1-

What a beautiful song "In the Bleak Midwinter" is.  There's three verses that are usually not sung - maybe because they're a little too religiousy? - but nonetheless the last verse is still my favorite.  It's so easy for me to think about all the ways I'm not measuring up.  Sometimes it smacks more than just a little bit if I think about all the ways that what I'm giving isn't good enough.  But I'm giving God my heart and my life and I'm not trying to be someone else and see, that's all He wants anyways.  My life, my talents, my trials, my joys, my heart - that's much more valuable to Jesus than a sacrificial lamb or a box filled with gold.  Whew.

-2-

Of course I picked a Christmas carol because we are still in the octave of Christmas (eight days beginning with the 25th that are all celebrated by the Church with as much gusto as Christmas itself), which is within the 12 days of Christmas (the 26th - Jan 6th, aka Epiphany or the day the Magi brought the gifts). 

Today is five golden rings.

-3-

I've never cared for the song "The 12 Days of Christmas." 

-4-

All I wanted was a cute picture of my Christmas-best-wearin' kiddos in front of the tree.  This was maybe as good as it got.

-5-

Hey, here's some really good news:  I'm 20 weeks pregnant and I've only gained 4lbs.  That's pretty daw-gone good for me.  My total weight gain goal is 15-20lbs for the pregnancy and I'm thinking that if I can get through Christmas and only gain one pound and be pregnant, well I have a very good chance of meeting that goal.

-6-

Other really good news: 

Today I mark 5 years of being married to the best man evah!

My husband is awesome and I love him so much.  Yay us!

Also, December, after Christmas, is the best time to have a Catholic wedding.  The Church is decorated beautifully and so you save all kinds of money.  We plugged in the lights on the trees that were up, called it good, and received one compliment after another. 

-7-

Special prayer request:

My friend Alicia is asking for prayers for a friend and the friend's babies. 

Triplets Ryan, Norah, and Lucas were born at 24 weeks and are now in the NICU.  Please pray for their health, their mom who is recovering, and all the people who love them and are very worried.

Thank you for praying!

"I think I'll go to Boston..."

I'll be gone for the weekend; enjoy a little Augustana and some really good reads while I'm gone.

First up, Leila at Little Catholic Bubble has a wonderful post by Steve Gershom, a Catholic man who is also gay.  A little teaser:  When I go to Confession, I sometimes mention the fact that I'm gay, to give the priest some context. ... I've always gotten one of two responses: either compassion, encouragement, and admiration, because the celibate life is difficult and profoundly counter-cultural; or nothing at all, not even a ripple, as if I had confessed eating too much on Thanksgiving.
I also encourage you to check out Steve's blog.  It's a really good read.

Also, a little victory dance is happening over here in the Diocese of Peoria.  A judge has ruled that DCFS was wrong to end its relationship with Catholic Charities for foster care.  You can read a nice little summary article about the good news here.
Looking for someone else to do the cooking?  Megan Brent is a personal chef and owner of in good taste in central IL and she's dang good at what she does.  A friend gave us a gift card for her business when JF came home from the NICU and, while we have not yet used it - I just kept saving it for something special! - I have had the privilege of eating her fish tacos.  Megan is warm, smart, and talented.  Her website is here and you can find her on Facebook, too.

Lastly, here's a thoughtful post from CatholicMom about the book Premarital Sex in America by Jeremy Uecker.  A teaser from the post:  Yesterday’s premarital sex was generally “pre-marital”—sex before marriage between two people who did, in fact, get married to each other.  Today’s premarital sex is typically not pre-marital and may occur pre-relationship or with no-relationship. It almost certainly occurs with a succession of partners, well before marriage enters the picture.

A post with a related topic is Fr. Longenecker's "Comments on Cohabitation."  It's a list of things priests might like to say to cohabiting couples who come in for marriage prep.

our engagement story

The lovely Betty Beguiles is hosting a The Story of How You Became Engaged link-up.  Join the fun!

I'm going to splurge a little bit and tell our whole story.  The short version.

Travis was a super senior at WIU, living at the Newman Center, when I was hired as the campus minister.  When I arrived to campus he was the only one around.  We spent our first day together rearranging furniture, eating at Hardees, talking about the girl he was in love with, and watching We Were Soldiers.

Over the next two years we became very good friends.  Our relationship was completely platonic.  It was wonderful.

In February 2006 he and his fiance called off their engagement.  In March the man I was seeing told me he had found greener pastures (another woman).  On April 1st we unofficially went to the Newman Formal together.  I had an idea that maybe I liked him but, not knowing he ended his engagement for seminary, I thought he was still in love with his ex. 

Around the middle of April Travis was praying in the chapel about his vocation.  He asked God, "What do You want me to do?"  He thought he'd get a response like, "Become a monk."  Instead he was overcome with thoughts and images of me.  When he asked the chaplain, Father told him God was either showing him what he was going to miss out on or what he was going to get. 

Travis began to be more intentional in spending time with me. 

I was clueless and kept any attraction pushed waaaaaay in the back.

Then he called me one day, saying he had to discuss something with me.  As we ended the conversation I almost said, "I love you."  I hung up the phone and freaked out.  It was true: I had completely fallen in love with Travis and I didn't even know it was happening. 

It was okay, though, because the conversation he wanted to have with me began with, "I want to date you.  I think God wants us to be together."

He then spent the next two days convincing me he was over his ex.

Two weeks later we had our wedding date picked out.  A month after that we were officially engaged and I had the ring on my finger to prove it.  Almost seven months after that we were married during the Octave of Christmas, on the Eve of the Feast of the Holy Family.

And we've lived happily ever after.


Now, how did he actually propose?  Well, he made a date with me.  I was pretty sure he was going to propose and in my nervousness I drank a ton of water.  I packed a picnic dinner - real plates, chicken breasts, yummy stuff - and he picked me up, bouquet of roses in hand. 

We went to Grandview Dr. in Peoria and ate while overlooking the Illinois River.  We then went for a small hike in the woods.  During the hike I really, really had to pee.  I told Travis and we tried to get to a park area, which just kept seeming further and further away. 

Then, at the top of a hill was a small clearing with a handful of grazing deer.  We were very close and we stopped to quietly watch them.  Travis said my name and I turned to see him kneeling, holding up a ring. 

"I love you.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  Will you marry me?"

I said yes.  We kissed; we hugged; he picked me up and spun me around in a circle.

And then I went to pee in the woods.

Because I am that classy.

3 Good Years

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband.

Thank you for the beautiful, magnificent children you have given me. Thank you for providing for us all. Thank you for your selflessness, hard work, laughter, forgiveness, kindness and quiet faith.

Thank you for loving me wholeheartedly and thank you for sharing your life with me.

Marrying you was one of the best things to happen to me.

I love you more today than ever.

Feast of the Holy Family

Travis and I were married on the Vigil of Feast of the Holy Family three years ago.

Through the prayers of Jesus, Mary and Joseph may are marriage be strengthened, our family be blessed and holiness be achieved.

Happily Ever After...

I know that 2 & 1/2 years is not "ever after" and that there are many tough times ahead, but I can't help but think of that expression, one I used to roll my eyes at, and feel that it truly does apply to my marriage.

Last night, as Travis and I lay in bed, we talked about all the struggles and issues we had during our engagement. In fact, I had some fear that he would call everything off. Thankfully, we were always praying during that time and every time we were attacked with worry or doubt we would take it to Adoration. In the quiet of the chapel, looking face to face with Christ, we always came back to peace and the firm knowledge that we were supposed to get married, and we were supposed to do it on Dec 30. Simply put, we knew what God's will was for our lives, we just had to choose to follow.

In a sense we had an arranged marriage (God the Father was our "Yente") but fortunately for us we also loved and were in love with each other. All that being said, it can still be hard not to feel vulnerable when you step out in faith and date for 6 weeks and then are engaged for 6 months... (I mean, I'm just saying...) And the first 3 months of our marriage were pretty hard at times. In fact, all but one of the biggest fights of our marriage came during that time.

And then we did this great, amazing thing: we went on our honeymoon. Scotland was the best thing we could have done for our marriage. We shared an adventure and with it many laughs, and we came home as best friends.

Our lives are filled with stress: a fixer-upper house, paycheck-to-paycheck living, bills, older cars, an unplanned pregnancy, one bedroom, no cable... but I trust in my husband and our relationship. I know that he'll take care of me and our family, and that we can relax and recharge with our friendship. I am so happily married.

I just feel bad for all the rest of you, because I got the best there is. ;)

How we spent the past two years:

We got married.

I climbed some English walls.

Trav waded through some Scottish waters.

I got pregnant. (Peter)

We went to some movies and, overall, had a lot of fun.

We bought a house.

I got pregnant again. (L)

We remodeled the house, which we're actually still doing.

I gave birth.

I learned how to can.

Travis became a Grey Ghost.

We had our first Christmas with a 7 month old.

It was a good two years. I love you, Travis. Thank you for asking me to be your wife!

Happy Anniversary!

PS I cried through the whole thing

Netflix offers are perfect example of how Travis and I sometimes differ in taste: last two movies we got were Rambo and PS I Love You. You can probably guess which one was mine. PS I Love You was a pretty good movie. We both laughed a lot while watching it (yes, Travis did watch it, but only after I told him that Gerard Butler was King Leonitis in 300.) but I also cried through the whole thing. I would be laughing and crying at the same time. Why? Because, as I told Travis while he laughed at me, there is nothing worse I can think of than losing my husband early in life. Just the hint of the thought made me bawl.