Part III: The Story of a Winter Coat

This is the third part of a multi-post series all leading up to a grand, does-this-fit-together-anywhere-outside-of-my-heart-and-head post. The first post, A New Pair of Sneakers, can be read here. Yesterday's post, A Podcast + Instagram + an Epiphany About Life, can be found here. I'm calling the series "Lessons I'm Learning."

For a couple of years I have wanted a sleeping bag coat. You know what I'm talking about: long, black, puffy. All the moms at school pick up look like they're wrapped in sleeping bags, their hoods up against the cold winter wind. They look warm, with their coat that goes down to their knees. My old pea jacket, too small to button over my breastfeeding figure, doesn't cut it.

But sleeping bag coats cost at least $75, usually over $100, so I always wrote off the possibility of getting one. I mean, there's no way I should be spending that kind of money on myself! Especially when I have a coat.

I think all moms sacrifice for their kids, homes, families. I also know that deep down part of me just didn't think I deserved a nice new coat like what the prettier, smarter, more popular moms have. I should just make do, I should lose weight, I should push through. My ragamuffin coat is good enough for ragamuffin-top me.

...

After Christmas I was looking at a catalog and I mentioned to Travis that they had sleeping bag coats and I'd like to buy one but they were so expensive. He didn't care about the price, though. He reminded me that I had extra money in my PayPal account and reminded me that my current coat doesn't fit. "Bonnie, we live in Central Illinois. The high yesterday was 2 with a windchill of -17. You need a good winter coat. Buy the coat."

And you know what? I bought the coat. I knew he was right  and because of all the work God had been doing in my heart I didn't tell myself those dumb lies any more. I knew that just like those nice sneakers would help me stay on my feet longer and keep my body from aching at the end of the day, a sleeping bag coat would mean I'd be more likely to go outside, go for a walk, play in the snow, visit with the other moms at parent pick up. Or just be warm in the bitter cold.

The lessons:
- it's hard to break a habit (like negative self talk) but with the grace of God it can be done
- once our responses shift to be in line with God's Truth we begin to build new habits, meaning the more I practice treating myself with respect the more that virtue becomes firmly rooted in the place where my self hate had previously been
- clothe the naked is a work of mercy and while I wasn't naked I did lack proper clothing for the climate I live in; it's important to practice mercy to ourselves along with others.
- a sleeping bag coat really is as wonderful as it looks! The pockets are lined with fleece!