Financial Hardships & Surprise Pregnancies: An Introduction

This week I will be running a very small series responding to several people’s request that I write about having a large family while not having a lot of money.

The Series:
Introduction
Crosses & Chai Tea
How We Make It Work

and a follow up post:
God Works Differently in All Our Lives: Sex, Money, Suffering, and Grace

I know that sharing specifics about personal budgets and finance is considered bad form but, after discussing it with my husband, I’m going to share some of those personal details. Some of what I’ll be sharing is, for me, very personal and I know we are opening ourselves up to judgement and critique and possibly ridicule by sharing these things.

However, I’m doing this in the hope that it may help a couple who is struggling with the decision of whether or not to expand their family, or one who has been surprised to learn that their family is expanding. I’m also hoping that it may be helpful for a family who is struggling financially; maybe part of our family’s system will help them. Or at least I always think it is nice to know I’m not alone in my particular hardship.

Because I am writing the coming posts from a place of great vulnerability I don’t want to fill the posts with clarifications and asides, I just want to share about my specific family and our specific situation.  

I hope it is understood by everyone that I do not believe (nor does the Church teach) that large families are “more Catholic” than small families. And I wholeheartedly believe that not everyone is called to have a big family - there are legitimate reasons to space or be completely done having children. I also know there’s a big difference between having zero, one, or two kids and having nice things and having zero, one, or two kids so you can have nice things. Again, I am talking about my family and our ways - not commenting on anyone else’s.

I also hope no one will make comments about my husband’s and my decision to follow the teachings of the Catholic Church and not contracept. We firmly believe, and think science makes obvious, that life begins at conception, that we were wonderfully and fearfully made, and that God asks sex to be open to life. (You can read more about those teachings here if you’d like.)

Finally, I want to say that Yes, we are living this life because it’s the life we’ve chosen. We chose to take out student loans. We chose to pay for things with a credit card. We chose to not contracept or abort any of our babies. Travis chose to go into teaching and I chose to be a stay at home mom (Although daycare for five kids? It wouldn’t even be worth it for me to work!) We have chosen to follow the teachings of the Catholic Church. We have chosen to make these sacrifices because we believe that in the end, no matter how hard things may be now (and how hard it is for even us to see it), it is worth it.

It’s worth it to choose life. It is worthwhile to choose life over death, over the impossibility of more life,  or over things and experiences. And it is worth it because life is worth living.

The Series:

Introduction

Crosses & Chai Tea

How We Make It Work

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