RCIA preparation - the class that can be taken by anyone interested in learning more about the Catholic faith but is especially for converts or reverts - is full of great information. (Hopefully.) But sometimes while it's covering theology it misses some of the basics for how to be Catholic. Lingo, traditions, and which knee to genuflect on - those are things you'll want to know too!
This is definitely not an exhaustive list but it's some of the ones I had to learn as an adult or have seen asked repeatedly by converts and cradle Catholics alike.
Hopefully you already know all this stuff, but if you don't I hope you find this list helpful.
1 - When you genuflect, your right knee touches the floor.
2 - At adoration, if the Eucharist is in the monstrance, it is customary to go down on both knees.
3 - Make the sign of the cross with your right hand.
4 - The Church asks that you go to confession once a year, just before Easter is a good time to do so. However, going six times a year is even better and going twelve times a year is better yet.
5 - After Mass you may see people kneel and pray instead of exiting immediately. They are "making a Thanksgiving" - saying a short prayer, from their heart, thanking God for the Mass and the Eucharist. (Sometimes my kids wave and blow kisses and say "Thank You, Jesus." That works, too.)
6 - You should give to your parish and you should get (involved). Tithe ten percent but also join a Bible study, volunteer to tend some flower beds, teach CCD, attend special activities, serve coffee at the coffee and donuts, help organize bringing in a speaker. During RCIA you are part of a group that is helping you grow in your understanding of your faith and in holiness. When RCIA ends find a new group who will help you continue in that manner, but be sure to give back what you get.
7 - You can eat meat on Friday when it's not Lent, but if you do then you need to do some other kind of penance.
8 - Natural Family Planning is also known as NFP.
9 - NFP works. And it's not the rhythm method. And you are expected to use it if you are married and need to space your children.
10 - Building a Catholic culture in your home should not stress you out. You don't have to do all the things and you don't have to do things exactly like the person next to you. Give yourself time to figure out what works for you, your family, and your season in life.
Did I miss anything? Let me know!
I've been Catholic my whole life, and I've been to Adoration quite a bit the past 15 years....did not know about going down on both knees...will tell my kids, too...this is my first comment...you've got a great blog and family! Thanks for all you share!
ReplyDeleteI long thought that it was the prescription to go down on both knees (and did so), but my husband informed me it is not required. After doing more research, I have this to offer--
Delete"With respect to the genuflection: Since a genuflection is, per se, an act of adoration, the general liturgical norms no longer make any distinction between the mode of adoring Christ reserved in the tabernacle or exposed upon the altar. The simple single genuflection on one knee may be used in all cases.
However, some bishops' conferences have voted to retain the use of the double genuflection for the Blessed Sacrament exposed, and it would be required in these countries. In this case, those who make the double genuflection kneel briefly on both knees and reverently incline the head with hands joined.
Needless to say, the simple genuflection should never be reduced to a sudden spasm in the right knee. The right knee should touch the place where the right foot stood while head and back remain straight. The gesture of adoration should be performed with due pause.
When I was young a wise priest taught me to recite the invocation "My Jesus, I adore you in the sacrament of your love" so as to gauge a reasonable time to remain knee to floor. One could stay longer perhaps, but it is a fairly safe rule of thumb."
From http://www.ewtn.com/library/Liturgy/zlitur92.htm
There is certainly nothing wrong with going down on two knees, but as far as I know from our USCCB, it is not a prescription for the faithful in the US to abide by. Hope this is helpful to some!
Interesting, I was encouraged by monks in our diocese and my bishop to go down on two.
DeleteEither way, it's not about being more Catholic than the pope, but about worshiping God. Just as a church may be empty when Christ is in the tabernacle but should not be empty when He is in the monstrance, I prefer to mark a difference.
Those should be 3 paragraphs - just so you know how to read what I typed. It does make a difference!
DeleteI'm a convert of about 7 years and I didn't know #2 either! What a great list. I also didn't formally know #1, although it was the knee I always used!
ReplyDeleteI was SO embarrassed when a priest pulled me aside and told me I was doing it wrong. I was a college graduate so my whole life I had been going down on the wrong side - and I was a cradle Catholic and very involved. The priest was incredibly kind when he did it but I went back to my room and cried.
DeleteBut now I can laugh about it.
Same here about #2. In regards to the Sign of the Cross - I learned later in a children's book that one should make the sign with two fingers; the two fingers held up represent Jesus' dual nature and the three fingers connected represent the Trinity. Also, I wish I had known to go directly to the CCC with questions - I was given misinformation in RCIA and from the priest (e.g. birth control is okay to use) and I also didn't understand the difference between the pope's teachings vs dogma and infallibility.
ReplyDeleteKaryn, those are some good ones to discuss too! Thanks!
DeleteI was taught to do it with the 3 fingers but a guy I attended college with grew up in a different ethnic tradition of the Catholic Church and they put their index finger over their thumb, making a cross, and that's how they made the sign of the cross.
Interesting, huh? I wonder if it varies even more.
I was a cradle catholic from a practicing family and dind't know about the Eucharistic fast until I was in college.
ReplyDeleteOh yes! That's another good one to cover! Thanks for bringing it up!
Deleteperfect list :) These are also things I had to learn as an adult (cradle Catholic!). I also had to learn a lot of the less basic prayers, how to say a Chaplet, the significance of the 3 o'clock hour, how to say a novena, what a doctor of the church is, parts of the Mass...gosh, so much stuff. I am still learning, and I went to Catholic school!
ReplyDeleteI agree, Jenna. Maybe Bonnie would consider doing posts on some of the less basic, but also less known concepts that you listed above. We need to learn these things too. :)
DeleteOn it!
DeleteDitto Jenna. Learning how to pray now and would love to be more glorifying and pleasing to God in that practice.
DeleteThanks for these! I am on again off again in RCIA and I mentally agree with the theology but don't know how to live it. I have been looking for basic things like this but they are hard to find.
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome. More of these in the future?
ReplyDeleteI have been in RCIA for about six months. I have enjoyed the class and there are two of the sweetest little old ladies in my class. The problem I have is none of the other parishioners have been friendly or helpful. I know it has to be obvious that I am "new" a lady came up to me after Mass and said "You are not supposed to chew gum!" "I am surprised Father did not call you out on it!" I had no idea I was not supposed to chew gum. I felt like I needed to go ahead and turn in my tithing forms and paperwork to join the church and the lady that works in the church office was pretty much like why? you have not finished the RCIA class and was very rude. Father James acted like I was pulling teeth when I asked him to bless my new vintage Rosary. I attended Mass several years ago and I came up against the same things and so I just stopped coming. I am trying hard because I just want to follow my heart, but am I doing something wrong? Do you have any advice for me?
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're having that experience. When I was trying to find my way home, I definitely did not get a warm greeting from some of the office staff and the priest at the time wasn't warm and fuzzy either. Persevere! Look to the friends of those sweet little old ladies to find more of the same. The Catholic church is such a large, diverse group; everyone has their talent but not everyone's talent is being welcoming. I extend a welcoming to you {{hugs}}
DeleteExcellent comment, Karyn! And Tonya, just keep on your personal journey, learning and growing. Don't let a few or even a group of unwelcoming people push you away from the greater and more beautiful culture that is the Catholic Church. You'll find your people, but take heart that you're finding your way even closer to God :)
DeleteTonya, I emailed you too, so hopefully you get that but I did want to say: NO! You're not doing anything wrong - you will make little mistakes like chewing gum - as you learn the ropes and that could take awhile. I'm still learning things and I'm a cradle Catholic, 33 years old.
DeleteI will pray for you to have some more positive, encouraging interactions with the people in your parish.
I WANT YOU TO BE CATHOLIC!!!!! Come home! Join us! Sometimes we're grumpy, but the Catholic Church really is the best.
I converted after college - it can definitely be a ride! RCIA was awful - I was the only one in the class and the priest didn't ask me any questions about what I already knew or my background or anything. He still taught the class in lecture format as if there were 50 people there. It seemed like such a waste of time - that first confession with that same priest was not a nice experience either. The parishes I first went to after I became Catholic had AWFUL music, the priests were heretical - I mean seriously preaching that no one actually believes everything the Church teaches. Oh goodness I could go on! Thankfully moving around the country has proven that there are also many wonderful and warm parishes and priests. And now when I encounter those less than lovely individuals I immediately am reminded - 'God made this Church for sinners! Thank goodness, because I am one of them! How amazingly generous and humble He is to work through people like this." As converts we may not come in knowing all the things that the cradle Catholics know, but we come in with the eyes to see the parish as they are unable to see themselves - that means right away we are in a special place to minister to those life long Catholics. The fact that you notice those problems in the parish is exactly why God is bringing YOU to them to help them. Make sure you find those sincere Catholics to build yourself up, but you can do a lot to help your new parish already, by loving them. Please don't take it personally, just search hard for that Catholic that does know how to be loving and take your questions to them. Sincere Catholics often flock together - so where you find a few you'll find many!
DeleteGreat post! I passed it along to my husband who helps out with RCIA and they are using your list tonight.
ReplyDeleteSo guess what. I'm a big ol' genuflecter who like even genuflects right before she receives communion and lucky me, I've always used the correct knee-- because I never knew it mattered! Lern me sumfin new errdae.
ReplyDeleteLove it! I would love love love a series of posts on this! My husband and I had a great RCIA class but it's a lot of information to soak in and I always need refreshers! We're coming up on one year as Catholics in April and I still feel green around the gills!
ReplyDeleteI love this list. We came in to the church last Easter and I always had questions that I felt were too silly to ask. Some are on this list :) Here's another one- who can/should wear a veil at Mass? Do you have to have received your first communion?
ReplyDeleteI would like to see the answers to this too. I wear a veil and my daughter started wearing one after she received First Communion. I also understand that traditionally, married women wore darker colors and unmarried women and girls wore lighter colors.
DeleteAnybody (well, females. Men *un*cover their heads) can wear a veil. The "should" is left up to your individual choice, since veiling is no longer required (and you never had to wear a veil, specifically. Hats count as hair coverings!). My 4-year-old daughter wears a veil or a hat most of the time, just because she wants to be like me. It doesn't have as much to do with receiving Communion as it does being in His Presence.
DeleteFish Eaters can tend towards some overwrought language sometimes, but there's always good information in there--their article on the veil is no exception: https://www.fisheaters.com/theveil.html
This was so helpful. I've been studying two years and planning to start RCIA soon. Now I will be at the head of the class! LOL! However, I did want to ask if anyone has a good, graceful answer to decline loving longtime close friends who, when they find out you are becoming Catholic, go on a fervent mission to rescue from hellfire. I know I will lose some friends, but I feel bad for the friends I truly love and know truly love me, but there will not be any understanding between us on this point unless God opens eyes. Any links or recommendations?
ReplyDeleteBeen there, and it is really tough! I've taken a few different approaches, depending on the friend (and on how saucy I'm feeling). The feistier option is to invite a discussion of Scriptural literalism and John 6. Slightly less pugnacious is to tell them that you've come to understand that your personal relationship with Jesus requires that you become a part of the Church He founded, so that you might receive Him in the Eucharist. And sometimes you just have to thank them for their concern and then try to change the subject. :)
DeleteI found Dave Armstrong's A Biblical Defense of Catholicism really helpful.
Know that you will be in my prayers as you journey home!
Hey Camilla, my family are Protestants that are hostile to Catholicism. It was really painful for them when I first became Catholic. What I said was, "I have to follow my conscience." Since you've done a lot of research already you could maybe say, "now that I've learned MORE about the Scriptures, I have to follow my conscience and become Catholic." That way they know you aren't leaving because you're rejecting the Bible. And take heart - now that they see me still loving Jesus and the bible and being Catholic (who knew that was possible?!) it's not so awkward being around them.
DeleteTHank you, Layla and Lindsey. I think I'm learning that some will not have ears to hear or be open to objective discussion no matter what you do or say. It is sad how deep the bias against the Catholic Church has gotten. I used to be one of them. I converted a friend out of the Catholic Church--but I made her go back! LOL!
DeleteAnd if I could add another one to the list... What is the correct etiquette for lighting a votive candle? I always feel like everyone is watching me do it thinking, "This lady has no idea what she is doing!"
ReplyDeleteI'm not the first to say this, but yeah - I didn't know I was supposed to go down on both knees in Adoration! Thanks, Bonnie!
ReplyDeleteOne mini, annoying correction (sorry! theological training is a beast I can't control!): RCIA is not a "class." It's a Rite. I know it sounds like a piddly little detail, but actually I think it makes a huge difference whether parishes treat it like a class or like a sacred rite which is intrinsically tied to liturgy...
ReplyDeleteOkay, how about the class that prepares you for the rite? Does that work?
DeleteBut it's a good correction. Thanks, Laura.
Bonnie, I think #4 is slightly off - we are required to go once a year but a specific time is not stated - Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 1457 - linky: http://bit.ly/1K9Q8Kh.
ReplyDeleteI'd agree and recommend that Lent is a perfect time. So's Advent. And really, any other time when things are feeling 'off' with others and God.
Hmmm... You're right. I'll edit that. Thanks.
DeleteEven then, we're required to go once a year *only if* we've committed a mortal sin. CC para. 1457. I'm all about going to confession as often as possible, but the baseline requirement is quite minimal!
DeleteAlso, we're not really required to tithe 10%. This is the tradition, and it's certainly steeped in our tradition that generous almsgiving is really really important. But really there's no requirement that it be a certain amount. Unless I'm missing something?
It's the reception of the Eucharist that is required at least once a year per CCC 1417, and since it's good to go to Confession prior to receiving Communion, I think a lot of us lump the two together mentally.
DeleteOkay, here's my question: which is better, when you happen to be holding a toddler/baby/squirming child in your right arm: to make the sign of the cross with your left hand or not to make it at all? Same goes for genuflecting: better to use your left knee or not at all?
ReplyDeleteAnd also, how many times are you supposed to genuflect? Every time you come in and out of a pew? (I'm thinking of when a parent has to take a kid out of Mass or bathroom trips or whatever)
I don't have a good answer, just that my husband is a historical theologian and is a stickler for correct liturgy and all that, and he will still use his left hand for the sign of the cross if his other hand is busy with a baby.
DeleteYou know, Jenny, my understanding is that we use the right side of our body to remind us of things. Most of us are right handed and so our right side is stronger. We genuflect on our right knee as a sign of reverence and submission, weakening ourselves before God who is our strength. We use our right hand to remind us of the Righteous Right Hand of God.
DeleteI know I didn't go into all the detail of the theology in the post -mostly because I didn't want to bog it down with all the WHYs even though they are incredibly important. I just wanted a simple list.
But all that to say, God doesn't care so much. With stuff like this He's happy that we're doing our best. If we're holding a child and have to maintain our strength then I don't think God or the Pope will care what hand or knee we use. They will both just be happy that we've made it to Mass and we're using our bodies to worship.
Don't cha think?
I think some Eastern rites use their left or reverse it a bit... I always switch it up with a squirming baby. I think it's the intent that counts!
ReplyDeleteYes, other Rites do do it differently. For the Roman Catholics it's the right - to remind us of the Righteous Right Hand of God.
DeleteBut surely squirming babies are a great exception.
This is an excellent post! I am a convert who will celebrate 10 years as a Catholic this Easter, but there are still so many things I am learning. That's the wonderful thing about the Catholic faith though, isn't it? It's so rich and deep that you can always dive deeper and learn something new :) It's funny. I've seen people on numerous occasions kneel on both knees before the Blessed Sacrament in Adoration, but I always attributed it to just the desire to humble yourself more in the presence of His Majesty or being so awed by Him that you cannot help yourself. I never thought about it being something that one is supposed to do as a sign of respect and reverence -- although that makes perfect sense! Something I learned about #1 is that you not only genuflect before Jesus with your right knee on the floor, but that if you must kneel before anyone else, you kneel with your left knee on the floor. The right knee is reserved for Jesus alone. Interesting, no?
ReplyDeleteLove love love love love love LOVE this! As someone who has been digging into the Catholic faith and attending mass for the past few months trying to get the courage to "take the plunge," these are the little questions I've had! This is a great post that I'm sure will save a few people some small embarrassments! :) Thanks so much Bonnie!
ReplyDeleteNatalie, that's so exciting! I hope you do take the plunge! I love my faith and my life is so fun and beautiful because of it. If there's ever anything you need please don't hesitate to ask!
DeleteGood list, but one modification would be to #7. You are not "expected" to use NFP as a married person, unless you have reason to, either to achieve or avoid pregnancy. Some lucky souls don't need it. So of course they are not "expected" to use it. The clarification should be that it is the only thing you are expected or allowed to use if you need to space children or avoid pregnancy for some other reason. The use of NFP in marriage is NOT a requirement and it would be a gross misunderstanding to think that it is.
ReplyDeleteWas this list an oversimplification of a lot of things? Yes. That was the point of it. To make it simple and to create a foundation for people.
DeleteA lot of RCIA classes teach that no one uses NFP, contraception is okay, and so on. Most Catholics, sadly, use contraception. I understand and appreciate the desire for things to be perfectly clear but my feeling is that before we can throw the quiverful concept at people or go through all the exceptions of people with infertility or past the childbearing age or so on and so on it is best to lay the foundation that the Church expects us to use NFP. The rest of it is a continuation of the conversation that has been started, not a gross misunderstanding.
I learned #1 from my husband, who's a convert! It's been a really hard habit to break, but I'm finally getting to the point where I don't have to think quite so hard about putting my right knee down instead of my left. (I blame it on years of gymnastics as a kid, where I always led with my right foot!) :)
ReplyDelete