As resourceful as my faux-Old Catholic finds have been, I’m
still unable to get my hands on a portion of an ancient chasuble. But I haven’t given up yet!
Beyond the material goods, I envied and longed for a set of
liturgical observations within our domestic church. I watched friends celebrate feast days,
anniversaries of relatives’ religious vows, and the cycle of the liturgical
year employing a language of tradition that I could understand, but didn’t
speak.
Growing up, Christmas was the great religious celebration of
the year. The whole house, inside and
out, was transformed into a twinkly, glittery, glowing Otherworld. Decorations went up the day after
Thanksgiving, culminating with a joyful observation of “This ornament is mine,
and when I leave the house, I’m taking it with me,” played by my brother and
myself as we trimmed the tree, with my mom the pleasantly outraged
arbitrator. I took this love of
Christmas decorating with me when Ken and I started our own home, and we’d
amassed quite a collection by the time we became Catholic.
Then, for the first time, I met people who actually observed Advent. Like, in their homes. Like, beyond the pine
wreath displayed neatly on a side table in the church. I met people who did things like “fast from
Christmas” and resisted hanging up lights and stockings and trees until
Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve!!
I thought they were crazy.
But as my children got old enough to 1. Realize what
presents were and 2. Understand that they could reasonably expect to get some
on Christmas, the logic and wisdom of spending time preparing, spiritually, and
not just physically, for the holiday started to make sense. I think it was the 40th Wal-Mart
toy catalog I came across containing a complicated color-coded,
cross-referenced cataloguing system of who wanted which toys was the tipping
point.
The first and easiest came with how we set up our Nativity
set. We put the Magi a distance away
from the painted plaster figures my grandmother had made when I was a
child. We explained to the kids that the
three wise men didn’t reach the Infant until Epiphany, and that their journey
was like ours, moving ever closer to Christ, with our eyes on Heaven to guide
us. The kids take turns moving the camel
and kings a little closer to the crèche, and the whole thing serves as a
tangible reminder that Advent is a journey with a destination bigger than the
presents under the tree.
The second thing we do I stole from my friend Janice, who,
since it’s generally accepted by everyone (but her, of course) is a livingsaint, is the exact sort of person one should look to for spiritual
advice. All
during Advent, on the center of her dining room table there sits an empty
wooden crib and a jar of pine straw. As
the family performs acts of service and love for others, they place a piece of
pine straw in the crib. Come Christmas
Eve, they place their statue of the Infant Jesus in the crib, and there He
rests on a piney mattress of their good works.
Forget about threats of Santa leaving a lump of coal- nothing spurs my
kids on to good behavior better than a mournful assessment of the poor quality
of baby Jesus’ bed. Suddenly, I’ve got
kids falling over themselves to show love of neighbor, and the tiny pine straw
mattress grows thicker by the hour.
Lastly, we have an Advent calendar that my mom made for us,
and finally, after years of agonizing over which one to buy, Ken went ahead and
made me an Advent candle holder. Now, I
just need to figure out simple, practical ways to anchor those two time markers
into spiritual lessons that our child army can access, and I’ll be set.
Those are the two words that I’ve tried to keep in mind
while developing our Advent traditions:
simple and practical. In my often
desperate attempt to create a sort of Catholic pedigree for my family, I
sometimes forget the reasons behind the rituals. And in the case of Advent, the reason is to
strip our interior life of all the extraneous so that our Savior can be born in
hearts as humble as a manger.
But while I’m readying my heart by stripping things down,
I’m still going to ready my house by putting things up. That house isn't going to decorate itself.
Cari Donaldson is a wife, mom, homeschooler-extrodinaire, and master of photo shop. She does not really care for Taylor Swift but her tween daughter loves her. Cari blogs at Clan Donaldson, sharing funny stories about family life in Conneticut. She is also a contributing writer for Catholic Exchange and you can find her on Facebook. Cari is funny and sarcastic without being snarky or mean, which I love about her and her writing.
For more posts on Advent traditions and reflections check out the Advent series.
For more posts on Advent traditions and reflections check out the Advent series.
Oh my gosh. Love the 3 wise men AND the bed of good deeds. So awesome!
ReplyDeleteI love this Cari - I always feel conflicted in wanting to celebrate Christmas starting as early as possible and then feeling shamed because it's Advent and Advent is a penitential waiting period. I'm still trying to find the balance in my home :)
ReplyDeleteI've reflected on Christ being "born" in our hearts before, but never to the tune "as humble as a manger." Very powerful image for me this day. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteOh and Bonnie - keep the Advent series coming! Love it :)
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful. Just wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThis is great, Cari! We struggle with how to figure out the Advent season in our home, too. As a child, 'Advent' was celebrated with a trip to Santa Claus and a paper calendar with 2nd rate chocolate, so...um...no help there.
ReplyDeleteThat pine straw cradle is the best idea ever - I'm completely in love with it!
ReplyDeleteI agree, Megan!
DeleteCari, this is lovely. Many of us cradle Catholics have been conditioned by neglect to not pay attention to Liturgical seasons. I've finally learned to appreciate the beauty in that rhythm. Your words touch on that and resonate with me so. Thank you! I pray your message will reach other "lifers" who are craving to go deeper.
ReplyDeleteP.S. you might want to keep one eye open at all times. Old School Jude would look really good in my home! Just saying...