First!
Africa eBook Project
1.a. Watch this video:
1.b. Go to the Africa eBook Project website and make a contribution. You need only give a gift as small as $2. $2! You could find that in change in your car and sofa. But if you want to give more there are some cool incentives to give more.
Second!
Bake
Seriously, last night I wanted to bake and so I dug out a cookie I had created over a year ago. The cookie is 1/2 cookie and 1/2 brownie and 100% delicious. (Okay, that was hokey.) You can find the recipe here. It needs a good name. Got any ideas?
May 29, 2012
1 week old
Today Resa Marie is one week old. I'm still sore and tired and Travis and I are adjusting to having 4 kids. Suddenly the oldest two are more disobedient and JF is all about climbing the dining room chairs and table. Last night at 6:30 we looked at each other and agreed that we had had it. It was decided that the kids would get in their pj's, watch a movie, and eat popcorn like a special treat. It worked.
But in honor of my newborn's first week of life I thought I'd type up a list of all the things I've loved in this postpartum period.
- the rum and coke Travis snuck into the the hospital for me to drink after delivery
- the roses Travis brought me once we came home
- the way my doula/lactation consultant came to my house on Friday, told me four things, and fixed all our nursing problems
- the way JF smiles at Resa and pats her on the head, but mostly ignores her
- all the cute, pink clothes that have come out of the storage bin in the basement(!)
- the beer I had with lunch yesterday
- sleeping on my back
- wearing my regular jeans
- the way Resa has slept at night (I'm still losing sleep but it could be - and was - much worse!)
- getting to know my sweet baby girl, her eyes, hands, likes, all of her
- enjoying this newborn period, which we we lost with JF
- how Ben and L look out for and love on their baby sister
- that I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight (now to get back to my pre-pregnancy-with-L weight)
- the women from church and other friends who are bringing us meals (Thank you!)
- the awesomeness that is my mom and mother-in-law, who have both stayed out our house and taken the kids as we work out this new normal
But in honor of my newborn's first week of life I thought I'd type up a list of all the things I've loved in this postpartum period.
- the rum and coke Travis snuck into the the hospital for me to drink after delivery
- the roses Travis brought me once we came home
- the way my doula/lactation consultant came to my house on Friday, told me four things, and fixed all our nursing problems
- the way JF smiles at Resa and pats her on the head, but mostly ignores her
- all the cute, pink clothes that have come out of the storage bin in the basement(!)
- the beer I had with lunch yesterday
- sleeping on my back
- wearing my regular jeans
- the way Resa has slept at night (I'm still losing sleep but it could be - and was - much worse!)
- getting to know my sweet baby girl, her eyes, hands, likes, all of her
- enjoying this newborn period, which we we lost with JF
- how Ben and L look out for and love on their baby sister
- that I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight (now to get back to my pre-pregnancy-with-L weight)
- the women from church and other friends who are bringing us meals (Thank you!)
- the awesomeness that is my mom and mother-in-law, who have both stayed out our house and taken the kids as we work out this new normal
May 25, 2012
7 quick takes
1 - Resa's birth story is now up. You can check it out below this post, or click here. Though by clicking you will no longer be able to hear this funky, groovy, perfect song. Thank you, Mr. Stevie Wonder, for writing this piece of music.
2 - Cluster feeding is happening. Milk is coming in. I am sore. She won't nap. Which means I can't nap.
3 - I listened to Johnny Cash while laboring with Fesa. I did that with Ben's birth, too, and it's so helpful. Highly recommend it.
4 - How 'bout some pictures?
5 - Ben LOVES Baby Resa, as he calls her. LOVES her. As soon as he saw her he asked to hold her, and when he did he immediately put his cheek to hers, kissed her, patted her head, commented on how soft her hair was, and then - waving his hand around her - he asked, "Where baby come from?"
6 - L is very interested in how I feed Fesa. When we first came home from the hospital she asked if she could feed Fesa some babyfood. I explained she would have to eat milk from my breast. L asked, "How will she do that? With hoses?"
7 - JF doesn't know what to think of our newborn but he's pretty ticked that I can't pick him up right now nor hold him while she's nursing. Poor little boy.
Alright, friends. Thanks for all the well wishes, love, congrats, prayers, and general nice things you've said. We appreciate it! And now it's time to nurse! Have a fun weekend, and check out conversiondiary.com for more quick takes!
Introducing Teresa Marie
The quick facts:
21 and 1/2 inches long
The Birth Story:
Part I: Pre Labor
Late Monday morning the kids and I went grocery shopping. My lower back was killing me and I was hopeful that it meant promising things for labor. By lunch time I was having contractions. By 3pm they were becoming more painful and I called Travis to make sure he knew it. I also called my midwife, doula, and friend/homebirth midwife to give them a head's up that I thought it was the day.
That evening I made dinner, went for a walk with Travis, baked some strawberry lemonade bars, texted my birth team, and went to bed. At 3am I woke up from a nightmare (Travis and two other men we're friends with were considering remodeling a haunted house for the hexenbiest-looking monsters who lived there. I and the wives all said NO but Travis really wanted to do it and I was really annoyed with him.) Then I had a horrible contraction.
A little bit later I woke him up telling him I thought we needed to make some phone calls. A little after that my doula arrived. We went upstairs so I could labor in the quiet of my bedroom. But sitting there on my bedroom floor was too much for me and all I could think of was how I sat on the bedroom floor while they worked on JF. I cried through my next contraction and then moved downstairs.
We were there for no more than 10 minutes when, kneeling on some Chux pads (leftovers from previous homebirths) I threw up, causing my water to break. Not wanting to be in intense labor when my kids woke up or in the car we headed over to the hospital.
Part II: The Hospital
As soon as we got to our room a woman gave me a hospital gown and told me to "go ahead and take everything off and put that on." I asked her why. I guess that was a stupid question - she thought so and sarcastically said, "OKAY..." while rolling not just her eyes but her entire head - but I wasn't about to push out the baby and didn't feel like being practically naked. I really was confused by why she would tell me to do that.
Fortunately, our doula was in the hall and overheard the conversation and then spoke to the woman and my nurse. She told them how I had homebirthed 3 kids and also explained about JF. It was wonderful to not have to explain those things to anyone.
Our nurse was wonderful. I sat on a birthball fully dressed in my own clothes. She ignored the peanut butter and crackers I ate around lunch time. She left me alone for long periods of time. She bent a lot of rules. My contractions were strong but they weren't regular and stayed around 10 minutes apart. This was really discouraging for me, especially since I thought I'd have a baby by noon since my water broke at 6:30. Because I had slept the night before I felt pretty good. In between contractions we sat around and joked, chatted, and laughed.
But then, as dinnertime approached I started to ask for pain medication. I was starting to feel tired and discouraged and I was worried I wouldn't be able be able to manage the pain and the fear when it was time to push. By this point I was also saying a lot of "Oh my God"s; "Please, oh my God, please"s; and "Oh shit"s. The "oh my God"s were usually attached to some kind of intention - for the people who comment on my For Pete's Sake posts, other people I had promised to pray for - these were never clear, specific "this contraction is for Katie and her boards" but were vague and hopefully still helpful. The "please, oh my God"s were my way of praying for myself - less pain, a living baby, that it would all be over soon. The "oh shit"s were because it hurt like hell and I felt like an ass for not asking for the epidural many hours before.
My midwife wanted to check my cervix to see if I could have the epidural and she found that there was still water in my bag. I remember crying out, "Think of all the poor souls in Purgatory!" and everyone laughed except for Travis who knew I meant it. My midwife then broke my water and held her hand there through the next contraction, causing me to say, "I want you to know that I hate you right now!" Breaking the water meant that Teresa immediately started moving down and there was no more time for an epidural.
Part III: The Birth
At 4:28pm I called out, "Here she comes." And then things got really scary for me. I stopped having the urge to push and without my body telling me when to push I didn't know what to do. I was able to get her to the crowning point but then we were stuck. Really, I don't remember everything that happened and the order that it came in. I remember them saying we needed to get her out and asking me to push. I know I had to be flipped from being on my hands and knees to being on my side. I know they kept telling me to get my legs up. At one point I asked if she was alive. I know her cord was loosely, half way around her neck and so my midwife reached up and flipped it over T's head. I know that hurt worse than anything I have ever experienced in my life and I roared in pain. After that they had me get flat on my back and pull my knees all the way up to my face. The nurse did a move called the supra pelvic, using her fist to push down on the top of my pelvic bone and Teresa's stuck shoulder. That also hurt like hell. After her shoulder was free I pushed her out and I remember the feeling of her being completely out of me. It was over and I had done it.
Part IV: The APGAR
However the feeling of relief was pretty brief because instead of giving her to me they took her over the the cart to work on her. I asked if she was alive and they said yes but I didn't trust what I was being told because if she was okay she would have been with me. Because I was still flat on my back and too exhausted to sit up I couldn't see what was happening, which was this:
Teresa's apgar score at birth was a 2. Ten is perfect, JF was a 0. Teresa was blue, limp, and not breathing but unlike her big brother she had a heartbeat. While they were giving her air she gasped a few times and fortunately my mom excitedly commented every time she heard one. But Travis was silent and that made me worried, too. Thank God (and thank you for your prayers) after two minutes she started to cry and her five minute apgar score was a perfect 10. Which means I finally got to hold her.
Part V: The Summary
Because she was so big they kept us two nights in the hospital. While pregnant my plan was to stay no more than 24 hours but by the time everything was said and done I just didn't care. I didn't feel like moving much and if they wanted to check her blood sugar levels and make sure I didn't hemorrhage that was fine with me.
Teresa's birth was pretty amazing but, for me, that's not in a amazing=beautiful=healing=spiritual kind of way, though I think I'll get there. I delivered an 11lb 9.5oz baby naturally with only one first degree tear so small they didn't even stitch it. That's amazing. My daughter is alive and healthy and happy. That's amazing.
Today as I looked at my baby girl I told her, "God wanted me to have you, an undeserved gift." I mean that and I am so, so grateful.
P.S.:
My birth team:
They were awesome. The two on my right have been at all four of my children's births. The woman on the left is Mary, the midwife I saw for this pregnancy. All of the women were amazing, but I must say that Mary was truly perfect. She supports homebirth and did everything in her power to make my hospital birth as much like a homebirth as possible. I know that because I had her I got what I wanted. She was excellent.
Teresa Marie
born at 4:35pm
on Tuesday the 22nd of May.
on Tuesday the 22nd of May.
21 and 1/2 inches long
11 pound 9.5 ounces at birth,
but we'll just round up to 11. 10.
She has soft, dark hair and ridiculously long fingernails. Her eyes are dark, she's already lifting her head to look around, she has a strong cry, and she looks like Ben did when he was born.
Her name comes from
Mother Teresa,
our Blessed Mother,
and my mom, whose middle name is also Marie.
The Birth Story:
Part I: Pre Labor
Late Monday morning the kids and I went grocery shopping. My lower back was killing me and I was hopeful that it meant promising things for labor. By lunch time I was having contractions. By 3pm they were becoming more painful and I called Travis to make sure he knew it. I also called my midwife, doula, and friend/homebirth midwife to give them a head's up that I thought it was the day.
That evening I made dinner, went for a walk with Travis, baked some strawberry lemonade bars, texted my birth team, and went to bed. At 3am I woke up from a nightmare (Travis and two other men we're friends with were considering remodeling a haunted house for the hexenbiest-looking monsters who lived there. I and the wives all said NO but Travis really wanted to do it and I was really annoyed with him.) Then I had a horrible contraction.
A little bit later I woke him up telling him I thought we needed to make some phone calls. A little after that my doula arrived. We went upstairs so I could labor in the quiet of my bedroom. But sitting there on my bedroom floor was too much for me and all I could think of was how I sat on the bedroom floor while they worked on JF. I cried through my next contraction and then moved downstairs.
We were there for no more than 10 minutes when, kneeling on some Chux pads (leftovers from previous homebirths) I threw up, causing my water to break. Not wanting to be in intense labor when my kids woke up or in the car we headed over to the hospital.
Part II: The Hospital
As soon as we got to our room a woman gave me a hospital gown and told me to "go ahead and take everything off and put that on." I asked her why. I guess that was a stupid question - she thought so and sarcastically said, "OKAY..." while rolling not just her eyes but her entire head - but I wasn't about to push out the baby and didn't feel like being practically naked. I really was confused by why she would tell me to do that.
Fortunately, our doula was in the hall and overheard the conversation and then spoke to the woman and my nurse. She told them how I had homebirthed 3 kids and also explained about JF. It was wonderful to not have to explain those things to anyone.
Our nurse was wonderful. I sat on a birthball fully dressed in my own clothes. She ignored the peanut butter and crackers I ate around lunch time. She left me alone for long periods of time. She bent a lot of rules. My contractions were strong but they weren't regular and stayed around 10 minutes apart. This was really discouraging for me, especially since I thought I'd have a baby by noon since my water broke at 6:30. Because I had slept the night before I felt pretty good. In between contractions we sat around and joked, chatted, and laughed.
But then, as dinnertime approached I started to ask for pain medication. I was starting to feel tired and discouraged and I was worried I wouldn't be able be able to manage the pain and the fear when it was time to push. By this point I was also saying a lot of "Oh my God"s; "Please, oh my God, please"s; and "Oh shit"s. The "oh my God"s were usually attached to some kind of intention - for the people who comment on my For Pete's Sake posts, other people I had promised to pray for - these were never clear, specific "this contraction is for Katie and her boards" but were vague and hopefully still helpful. The "please, oh my God"s were my way of praying for myself - less pain, a living baby, that it would all be over soon. The "oh shit"s were because it hurt like hell and I felt like an ass for not asking for the epidural many hours before.
My midwife wanted to check my cervix to see if I could have the epidural and she found that there was still water in my bag. I remember crying out, "Think of all the poor souls in Purgatory!" and everyone laughed except for Travis who knew I meant it. My midwife then broke my water and held her hand there through the next contraction, causing me to say, "I want you to know that I hate you right now!" Breaking the water meant that Teresa immediately started moving down and there was no more time for an epidural.
Part III: The Birth
At 4:28pm I called out, "Here she comes." And then things got really scary for me. I stopped having the urge to push and without my body telling me when to push I didn't know what to do. I was able to get her to the crowning point but then we were stuck. Really, I don't remember everything that happened and the order that it came in. I remember them saying we needed to get her out and asking me to push. I know I had to be flipped from being on my hands and knees to being on my side. I know they kept telling me to get my legs up. At one point I asked if she was alive. I know her cord was loosely, half way around her neck and so my midwife reached up and flipped it over T's head. I know that hurt worse than anything I have ever experienced in my life and I roared in pain. After that they had me get flat on my back and pull my knees all the way up to my face. The nurse did a move called the supra pelvic, using her fist to push down on the top of my pelvic bone and Teresa's stuck shoulder. That also hurt like hell. After her shoulder was free I pushed her out and I remember the feeling of her being completely out of me. It was over and I had done it.
Part IV: The APGAR
However the feeling of relief was pretty brief because instead of giving her to me they took her over the the cart to work on her. I asked if she was alive and they said yes but I didn't trust what I was being told because if she was okay she would have been with me. Because I was still flat on my back and too exhausted to sit up I couldn't see what was happening, which was this:
Teresa's apgar score at birth was a 2. Ten is perfect, JF was a 0. Teresa was blue, limp, and not breathing but unlike her big brother she had a heartbeat. While they were giving her air she gasped a few times and fortunately my mom excitedly commented every time she heard one. But Travis was silent and that made me worried, too. Thank God (and thank you for your prayers) after two minutes she started to cry and her five minute apgar score was a perfect 10. Which means I finally got to hold her.
But this is what I felt like:
Part V: The Summary
Because she was so big they kept us two nights in the hospital. While pregnant my plan was to stay no more than 24 hours but by the time everything was said and done I just didn't care. I didn't feel like moving much and if they wanted to check her blood sugar levels and make sure I didn't hemorrhage that was fine with me.
Teresa's birth was pretty amazing but, for me, that's not in a amazing=beautiful=healing=spiritual kind of way, though I think I'll get there. I delivered an 11lb 9.5oz baby naturally with only one first degree tear so small they didn't even stitch it. That's amazing. My daughter is alive and healthy and happy. That's amazing.
Today as I looked at my baby girl I told her, "God wanted me to have you, an undeserved gift." I mean that and I am so, so grateful.
P.S.:
My birth team:
May 22, 2012
Labor
I think it's here. It hurts. I'll keep you posted. Please pray.
I'll be updating Twitter (#icecrunch) and Facebook if you want to follow along but I have a dumb phone (not a smart phone) and so any updating will have to happen on my laptop... if the internet is working at the hospital. And I was warned that sometimes it doesn't work.
I'll be updating Twitter (#icecrunch) and Facebook if you want to follow along but I have a dumb phone (not a smart phone) and so any updating will have to happen on my laptop... if the internet is working at the hospital. And I was warned that sometimes it doesn't work.
May 19, 2012
so, so big
Today, as JF and I walked into Steak and Shake to have lunch with the hard-workin' hubster, an employee walked by me and said, "Holy Jesus!"
I said, "Yes."
What was I supposed to say? Jesus is holy and I am big so I thought I'd just agree with her. It seemed better than telling her she was rude or asking for the manager. But I bet I could have gotten my junior-sized Nutter Butter milkshake for free if I would have spoken to the manager.
Oh. And this is how big I am. In case you're just dying to know.
10lb baby inside. I'm sure. It's my own damn fault for drinking Nutter Butter milkshakes and Moolattes. And eating french fries. And pizza.
BUT in my defense I have eaten a whole lotta fruit and asparagus this pregnancy. I mean, I've gained like 25lbs or less. So that's good.
With L I went into labor the day of her due date and gave birth the next day. With Ben I gave birth two days after his due date. JF was born three days after his due date. If this baby is going to stick with the pattern then I should go into labor today/tonight and give birth tomorrow.
Oh Holy Jesus, please let it happen. Amen!
I said, "Yes."
What was I supposed to say? Jesus is holy and I am big so I thought I'd just agree with her. It seemed better than telling her she was rude or asking for the manager. But I bet I could have gotten my junior-sized Nutter Butter milkshake for free if I would have spoken to the manager.
Oh. And this is how big I am. In case you're just dying to know.
 |
| Not the greatest picture, I know, but you get the gist. |
BUT in my defense I have eaten a whole lotta fruit and asparagus this pregnancy. I mean, I've gained like 25lbs or less. So that's good.
With L I went into labor the day of her due date and gave birth the next day. With Ben I gave birth two days after his due date. JF was born three days after his due date. If this baby is going to stick with the pattern then I should go into labor today/tonight and give birth tomorrow.
Oh Holy Jesus, please let it happen. Amen!
May 18, 2012
7 quick takes
1 - This song is just delish. I hope you enjoy it.
2 - Here's something else I love: Lisa and Joel Schmidt's blog The Practicing Catholic. They have all kinds of great content, they update frequently, and they're just plain wonderful. Seriously, you can read the fluff I write, or you can read something interesting. Or, you know, you could do both. And ps - Lisa was one of our bloggers at the 2012 Behold Conference. Pretty blonde with a baby.
3 - Also have a new found love for Kathryn Whitaker's blog and tweeting. Check out Team Whitaker. I especially appreciate what I've read under her Motherhood and The Preemie tabs.
4 - Lastly, Karen Edmisten has a great blog and a new book that I really, really, really want to read.
5 - I'll be honest, the internet sometimes makes me feel like I'm a freshman in high school looking across the cafeteria to the upperclass cool kids table. (Doesn't that just sound so dorky? But it's how I think. Dork.) Don't get me wrong, I have a very full, fun table myself and I love the friends I have. Sometimes I wish I knew - in real life - women like Lisa, Kathryn, Karen, Grace, Hallie, Dwija, Katie, the Bright Maidens, Sarah. They seem to be just as fabulous as my friends who I share playdates and texted prayer requests with. And if you don't know them yet I strongly encourage you to check out their blogs, Facebook pages, and Twitter feeds. They're funny, kind-hearted, and Catholic.
6 - Back to things I love. This picture:
This print was done by the awesomely talented Jude Landry. His wife Alisha and I met at a local Catholic moms' group and then they moved back to the South from whence they had come. I don't think there was a direct connection between the timing of our meeting and their moving. If you want to buy this print or something else similarly great check out Jude's store.
7 - And lastly, I love the tulips my loving husband brought home yesterday because tulips are my favorite flowers and I am overdue. What a good man.
Have a good weekend, lovely people! And check out more Quick Takes over at Jen's blog!
May 17, 2012
40 weeks 1 day
When people ask, "When are you due?" it fun to say, "May 16th," when it's 3 months away. And then it's fun to say, "In two weeks." Even more fun is to say, "I'm due on Wednesday" when there is less than a week on the ticking clock.
But it's not as fun to answer, "Today."
And it's a bummer to say, "Yesterday."
I am still afraid of the outcome of this pregnancy and at this point I'm still about 55% expecting to not bring the baby home. When I look through the baby clothes section at stores I alternate between thinking about buying her something special to wear home from the hospital (right now I just have L's hand-me-downs packed) and thinking about buying something to bury her in.
It's so morbid sounding, isn't it.
At this point I want to go into labor not because I'm tired of being so big, so pregnant, so hot, so uncomfortable. I want to go into labor because I just want to get it over with and move on to the next stage. Do I celebrate or mourn? Do things go well or very badly? Can I do this?
At this point I really want those answers. I'm one day overdue and not in labor.
But it's not as fun to answer, "Today."
And it's a bummer to say, "Yesterday."
I am still afraid of the outcome of this pregnancy and at this point I'm still about 55% expecting to not bring the baby home. When I look through the baby clothes section at stores I alternate between thinking about buying her something special to wear home from the hospital (right now I just have L's hand-me-downs packed) and thinking about buying something to bury her in.
It's so morbid sounding, isn't it.
At this point I want to go into labor not because I'm tired of being so big, so pregnant, so hot, so uncomfortable. I want to go into labor because I just want to get it over with and move on to the next stage. Do I celebrate or mourn? Do things go well or very badly? Can I do this?
At this point I really want those answers. I'm one day overdue and not in labor.
May 15, 2012
for Pete's sake
Perhaps you and your spouse are trying to conceive. Perhaps someone you love is beginning the adoption process. Maybe you have lost several children, are pregnant again and worry about carrying your child to term. For Peter's sake, please allow me to pray for you or your loved ones.
Please leave your prayer intention - for yourself or someone you know - in the comment box. Commenters may leave their name or be anonymous. You may share as little or as much as you like. With great respect, dignity, and affection I would like to pray for you, your pain, your grief, and your hope. I feel it is a calling from God and a great honor.
I, of course, invite all those who comment or read the comments to join me in praying for one another.
Thank you for this privilege.
May 11, 2012
7 quick takes
1 - Before you get too far into this song please be warned that a major f bomb is dropped in this one. I'm pretty much sick of their single, which I posted a few weeks ago. I can no longer listen to it. Top 40 radio, you have overplayed and therefore killed another good song, for me anyways. This song, though was recommended to me by my husband who had a student play it for him earlier this week.
2 - Honestly, I had no idea what song to post here this week. I've been listening to the Maccabeats a lot lately, especially their cover of Matisyahu's Miracle. It's how I'm prepping for the birth, weirdly.
If you're in the mood for a Hannukah song, and not a song that sounds a little like The Lion King, then you can watch this one:
3 - And yes, I'm still pregnant. Last night I had some pretty strong, long contractions but whenever I'd sit and rest they'd stop. I was tempted to go for a walk or scrub my tubs or something but overall I'm just too tired to do a bunch of work for something that would end once I sat down.
4 - Today I will have my first one of these since last fall.
Aaahhhh! Pioneer Woman's iced coffee. I bought Bailey's creamer just to go with it. I am excited.
5 - For Mother's Day I'm doing this awesome thing: hanging out with my mom without the kids. Maybe it's bad that on the day that celebrates my motherhood the one thing I want is to be by myself with another adult. No diapers, holding, correcting, wiping, feeding, buckling in, buckling out...
6 - Today we have a playdate and since I am not in labor we will be there! Yay for playdates!
7 - Courtesy of Netflix my kids are now fans of three staples from my childhood: Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake, and My Little Ponies. The Ponies and Shortcake and updated, ya know, but I still like that L loves what I loved as a little girl.
Hallie's hosting Quick Takes this week. Please pray for Jennifer, the soul of the man who was in the motorcycle accident she witnessed, and his loved ones. Thanks.
2 - Honestly, I had no idea what song to post here this week. I've been listening to the Maccabeats a lot lately, especially their cover of Matisyahu's Miracle. It's how I'm prepping for the birth, weirdly.
If you're in the mood for a Hannukah song, and not a song that sounds a little like The Lion King, then you can watch this one:
3 - And yes, I'm still pregnant. Last night I had some pretty strong, long contractions but whenever I'd sit and rest they'd stop. I was tempted to go for a walk or scrub my tubs or something but overall I'm just too tired to do a bunch of work for something that would end once I sat down.
4 - Today I will have my first one of these since last fall.
5 - For Mother's Day I'm doing this awesome thing: hanging out with my mom without the kids. Maybe it's bad that on the day that celebrates my motherhood the one thing I want is to be by myself with another adult. No diapers, holding, correcting, wiping, feeding, buckling in, buckling out...
6 - Today we have a playdate and since I am not in labor we will be there! Yay for playdates!
7 - Courtesy of Netflix my kids are now fans of three staples from my childhood: Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake, and My Little Ponies. The Ponies and Shortcake and updated, ya know, but I still like that L loves what I loved as a little girl.
Hallie's hosting Quick Takes this week. Please pray for Jennifer, the soul of the man who was in the motorcycle accident she witnessed, and his loved ones. Thanks.
May 8, 2012
Happy Birthday, Fulton Sheen!
Today is Day Two of the novena for Sheen's canonization. Please pray along:
May 4, 2012
7 quick takes
1 - The Boat Song! Parents who love Margaret Wise Brown, and I'm lookin' at you, Laura Beth, I think you would like this song. It was inspired by The Runaway Bunny and it features the bird wallpaper LB has in her kitchen and hallway. Everyone else, it's such a cute song, I really think you should listen to it. And then love it.
2 - For those of you who do not know my friend Laura, let me show you a picture of her arm.
Now do you understand why I think she'll like a song that was inspired by The Runaway Bunny? You can barely see it, but there's two bunny birds, one for each of her sons. Also, I don't really like tattoos but this is seriously the most amazing thing I've ever seen on someones body and I really appreciate the craftsmanship of this tat.
5 - Tonight Travis and I are going on a dinner and a movie date. We're going to see the new Avengers movie and I think Travis is half-hoping I'll go into labor the way I did as I watched Iron Man 4 years ago. We'll see!
I'm excited about our date night but I do think I should probably tidy up the house a bit. Our babysitters will be a couple of his students and I feel pressure to have the house clean. I should have thought of this yesterday when all I did during quiet time was sit on my butt and surf the internet, telling myself that 9 month pregnant women with occasional contractions should keep their feet up so they don't get too swollen. But now it's 9:30am and I've napped once already today, haven't showered, and need to clean and bake L's birthday cake for tomorrow's party. We'll see how all this goes.
6 - Ben does this absolutely adorable thing where he sits on the back of the sofa, recites the first half of Humpty Dumpty, falls back onto the sofa, and recites the second half of the nursery rhyme. I love it.
7 - Ben wants a picture of himself on the blog so I will post one. Happy Friday, everyone!
May 3, 2012
the wait was well worth it
It all began when I first heard the Goyte song Somebody That I Used to Know, which means this post has been floating around in my head for about two months. In case you don't know the song I'll put a fully clothed cover of it right here, though you can find the original song and video here.
Every time I listen to this song I think of the somebodies that I used to know, guys I once dated / hung out with / crushed on / flirted with / impressed with my "flux capacitor" t-shirt. Some of the guys I kissed, some I did not. Some of the guys I remember with great embarrassment and some I can barely remember at all. Pretty much all of them that I kissed I wish I had not.
And all of this makes me thank God that I was a virgin when I got married. Unfortunately there are guys in that list above with whom I did more than kiss; there were times when being pure and chaste were not of the highest importance. There were times when we were not leaving much room at all for the Holy Spirit. And honestly, it makes me a little sick to my stomach when I think about that. I really do regret those relationships with guys who are no more than people that I used to know and I simultaneously am very grateful that I never had sex with them.
Having run in Christian circles for a long time I have heard a kabillion times why I should "save myself for marriage." When I was young and single I pretty much thought it was a good idea, with a dash of doing what the Church told me, with a healthy dose of fear of pregnancy, STDs, and having people disappointed in me. But now that I am married I can see all the reasons why it was so good that I did wait and many of those reasons I don't think I could have ever fully appreciated without knowing what I know now.
One reason I'm super glad I didn't have sex outside of marriage is because I married a virgin. He didn't have to worry about any tag-along diseases I was bringing into the marriage and neither did I. Our conversation about sex was pretty easy to have: You've never had sex? I've never had sex. I'll see ya on our wedding night. It was completely clear that the pressure to have sex would not be present during our dating or our engagement (which is not to say we weren't tempted).
So when our wedding night came, well, it was awkward and painful. I won't go into any details, I'll just stick with those two adjectives. The good thing, though, is that I was with my best friend and a man who was 100% committed to me. My husband and I laughed together as we figured things out together. I didn't have to be sexy or afraid. I didn't feel vulnerable or unsure if I was making a good decision. When I have seen scenes in movies or tv of a couple losing their virginity or even just having sex together for the first time (scenes I am assuming are based on real people's real experiences) it is nothing like what I experienced. And I what I experienced was my husband loving me, adoring me, enjoying being with the whole of me. He was giving 100% of himself to me. Only me. Always me. Looking into my eyes, wanting only me forever. It was truly beautiful. While still remaining awkward and painful.
Closely related to all that is the fact I never had to worry about him comparing me to some other woman he'd slept with (was she thinner, prettier, better in bed?) and vice versa. As it turned out the man I was meant to marry was engaged to someone before me. Their relationship was pretty pure but I still felt a lot of insecurity (because I'm insecure) especially in the beginning of our marriage. Had he been sexually active with his former fiance it would have been very, very difficult for me. I realize that this may not be the same for everyone but for my husband it would have been. I suspect that this single issue would still be rearing its ugly head, especially when our marriage hits a rough patch. It's better to not even have that issue to deal with.
Lastly, I do want to say that of the guys I dated and did not marry there is only one whom I completely respect and sincerely wish the best. Unlike all the other guys I do not consider him "somebody that I used to know" but instead as a man that I briefly dated. The only thing that separates him from the others is that his intentions were clear and godly and he never even held my hand. I think those things illustrate the amount of respect he had for my eternal soul and for my future husband. I can appreciate any man who is that good, especially a man who has that much respect for the man I did marry - whom I consider to be the best of men.
I do not assume that all the people who read this were or will be virgins on their wedding day and I sincerely hope I didn't shame or judge you. I have enough to be ashamed about and I didn't write this post to make myself look or feel better. But if you are still a virgin I hope that sharing my experiences may reaffirm the decisions you've made. And if you are unmarried but not a virgin I pray that something I wrote will make you rethink your decision to be sexually active outside of marriage.
I was 25 when I got married and the wait was well worth it. The man I gave, not lost but gave, my virginity to is not "somebody that I used to know." He is not a person who "screwed me over" and I had to cut out of my life. He was a man who waited for me, not even knowing it was me he was waiting for. He is a man of virtue, character, and selflessness. He is a man who loves and adores me. He is a man who I can wholly give myself to and trust that he will protect, love, and care for me for the rest of his life. Like I said, the wait was well worth it.
And now watch this:
Every time I listen to this song I think of the somebodies that I used to know, guys I once dated / hung out with / crushed on / flirted with / impressed with my "flux capacitor" t-shirt. Some of the guys I kissed, some I did not. Some of the guys I remember with great embarrassment and some I can barely remember at all. Pretty much all of them that I kissed I wish I had not.
And all of this makes me thank God that I was a virgin when I got married. Unfortunately there are guys in that list above with whom I did more than kiss; there were times when being pure and chaste were not of the highest importance. There were times when we were not leaving much room at all for the Holy Spirit. And honestly, it makes me a little sick to my stomach when I think about that. I really do regret those relationships with guys who are no more than people that I used to know and I simultaneously am very grateful that I never had sex with them.
Having run in Christian circles for a long time I have heard a kabillion times why I should "save myself for marriage." When I was young and single I pretty much thought it was a good idea, with a dash of doing what the Church told me, with a healthy dose of fear of pregnancy, STDs, and having people disappointed in me. But now that I am married I can see all the reasons why it was so good that I did wait and many of those reasons I don't think I could have ever fully appreciated without knowing what I know now.
One reason I'm super glad I didn't have sex outside of marriage is because I married a virgin. He didn't have to worry about any tag-along diseases I was bringing into the marriage and neither did I. Our conversation about sex was pretty easy to have: You've never had sex? I've never had sex. I'll see ya on our wedding night. It was completely clear that the pressure to have sex would not be present during our dating or our engagement (which is not to say we weren't tempted).
So when our wedding night came, well, it was awkward and painful. I won't go into any details, I'll just stick with those two adjectives. The good thing, though, is that I was with my best friend and a man who was 100% committed to me. My husband and I laughed together as we figured things out together. I didn't have to be sexy or afraid. I didn't feel vulnerable or unsure if I was making a good decision. When I have seen scenes in movies or tv of a couple losing their virginity or even just having sex together for the first time (scenes I am assuming are based on real people's real experiences) it is nothing like what I experienced. And I what I experienced was my husband loving me, adoring me, enjoying being with the whole of me. He was giving 100% of himself to me. Only me. Always me. Looking into my eyes, wanting only me forever. It was truly beautiful. While still remaining awkward and painful.
Closely related to all that is the fact I never had to worry about him comparing me to some other woman he'd slept with (was she thinner, prettier, better in bed?) and vice versa. As it turned out the man I was meant to marry was engaged to someone before me. Their relationship was pretty pure but I still felt a lot of insecurity (because I'm insecure) especially in the beginning of our marriage. Had he been sexually active with his former fiance it would have been very, very difficult for me. I realize that this may not be the same for everyone but for my husband it would have been. I suspect that this single issue would still be rearing its ugly head, especially when our marriage hits a rough patch. It's better to not even have that issue to deal with.
Lastly, I do want to say that of the guys I dated and did not marry there is only one whom I completely respect and sincerely wish the best. Unlike all the other guys I do not consider him "somebody that I used to know" but instead as a man that I briefly dated. The only thing that separates him from the others is that his intentions were clear and godly and he never even held my hand. I think those things illustrate the amount of respect he had for my eternal soul and for my future husband. I can appreciate any man who is that good, especially a man who has that much respect for the man I did marry - whom I consider to be the best of men.
I do not assume that all the people who read this were or will be virgins on their wedding day and I sincerely hope I didn't shame or judge you. I have enough to be ashamed about and I didn't write this post to make myself look or feel better. But if you are still a virgin I hope that sharing my experiences may reaffirm the decisions you've made. And if you are unmarried but not a virgin I pray that something I wrote will make you rethink your decision to be sexually active outside of marriage.
I was 25 when I got married and the wait was well worth it. The man I gave, not lost but gave, my virginity to is not "somebody that I used to know." He is not a person who "screwed me over" and I had to cut out of my life. He was a man who waited for me, not even knowing it was me he was waiting for. He is a man of virtue, character, and selflessness. He is a man who loves and adores me. He is a man who I can wholly give myself to and trust that he will protect, love, and care for me for the rest of his life. Like I said, the wait was well worth it.
*****
If you're interested I also point you to this article from the New York Times, The downside of cohabitating before marriage.And now watch this:
flux capacitor
* I met a guy who had one, thought it was great, and so bought some iron-ons and made one for myself. I loved that t-shirt and wore it all the time, attracting the attention of a lot of men. I would be modestly dressed in jeans and a flux capacitor t-shirt with guys walking me to class or buying me beer. All of this is even funnier when I tell you that during our engagement my husband once told me his car's flux capacitor had a problem. With wide eyes I looked at him and practically shouted, "That's what makes time travel possible!" He laughed at me and said it was also a real car part. So the one man who wasn't impressed was my husband.
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