busy, busy week

Right now I'm asking God to keep all illness far, far away from my family.  Theres's been a long list of things going wrong in our house right now and the last thing I need the week of the conference is for the flu to hit us.
On the bright side, we're not sick so praise God!  :)

James' cookie swallow didn't happen last week.  Sorry I left you hanging.

I have all kinds of posts swimming in this head of mine but they will have to wait until next week.  So here's some pictures of the kids and me for the meantime.

B, stuck in the wagon.

L, frosting Valentine cookies.

Me, excited about cooking for the Bears game.

J, just being cute.

Sometimes when I think of how much I love my husband and children I feel incredibly vulnerable.  Do you know what I mean?

another cookie swallow for James

Please pray that James takes a bottle during his 1pm cookie swallow on Thrusday! 

We need him to take a good 2 oz to make sure he's eating safely.  We are also hopeful for thinner feeds and that we soon can begin giving him baby food safely.

Thanks!

this moment

I want to be organized.  This is about as good as it gets.

a good quote

- excerpt from Simcha Fisher's Why I Love My Ugly Little Liturgy:
My soul is foolish. I’m cheap and jangly. I’m in poor taste, inadequate, irreverent, wanting and paltry in every way. My heart is made of little beige bricks and burlap. And for some reason, God keeps showing up anyway. He doesn’t sneer and hunker down and wait for it to be over when he comes into the tawdry temple of my soul. He doesn’t get out of there as soon as he can.


Oh Lord, have mercy!

7 quick takes

-1-

It seems that the must read book right now is Unplanned by Abby Johnson.  Jen's talking about it at Conversion Diary, and so is Nancy with the Catholic Post Book Group.  (Nancy has a great interview with Ms. Johnson - check it out!)  Do I know anyone who owns this book and will let me borrow it?  I'd love to check it out!

-2-

On the Behold Confernece front, we have over 275 women registered for the day!  Rose, the director of the conference, and I have agreed that if we get 350 women registered we will dye our hair green and serve lunch to the patrons of the Germantown Hills Michael's on St. Patrick's Day.  Rose is a blond and I have loooong hair, so this is going to be worth it. 

So get your sisters, daughters, nieces and friends and sign up!

There will be pictures taken, I promise.

-3-

Right now I'm in a Mom's group that's doing the Epic study on Church history.  It is so wonderful!  

Some of the things I'm learning make my jaw drop open. 

Like this:  Ignatius, who was the Bishop of Antioch, was discipled by John, the beloved of Jesus.  In 115 AD during the persecution of Christians, he was arrested and taken to Rome to be killed.  On his way to Rome he wrote a series of letters and in them he talks about the hierarchy of the Church (priests, bishops, pope), the primacy and authority of the pope, the Eucharist, and he refers to the Church as "Catholic".  His understanding of these things is the same as modern Catholics. 

So either he, a disciple of John, got everything wrong or the Catholic Church truly is the church that Jesus Christ founded.

The more I study Sacred Scripture and history the more I am certain that the Catholic Church is the fullness of the faith.

-4-

Have you ever heard of the following book?  Holy Ground: Walking with Jesus as a Former Catholic.  This book makes me so frustrated. 

The problem?  The "former Catholic" was a nominal Catholic (he admits to only attending Mass twice a year by the time he was in high school!) so, sadly, he never knew or understood the teachings of the Church.  This is even more evident because, though he quotes the Catechism, he is still getting Catholicism wrong.  His book is filled with the same jargon and misunderstandings that I've come to expect, all of it is misleading, misunderstood, and untrue.  A nominal Catholic is NOT an authority on Church teaching!

-5-

This is the picture of the first time Lydia came to me, told me she had to go potty, and then went.  I was so proud of her and Bennet could tell so he gave her a hug. 

Side note:  how about that bed head?!

-6-

I have tried to post this video on my blog but it won't work.  So do yourself a favor and click on the link and listen to this song.  It's so good.  Thank you, Mumford & Sons Pandora station for continually introducing me to great music.

Noah and the Whale's Shape of My Heart

-7-

Have a great weekend!  Thanks for reading!

physical therapy update

Hey gang.

Today James had physical therapy.  We came away with loads of good news. 

James is a little behind on his development, about 1-2 months.  However, we are not surprised nor too concerned about this because of his first 7 weeks in the NICU.  But what he is doing he is doing very well. 

The therapist said:

- she has no doubt James will reach our goal of him crawling by 9 months.
- she sees no signs of cerebral palsy.
- she strongly believes that the stiffness in his legs is orthopedic and not neurological, meaning we will eventually stretch his legs straight and he will be able to use them normally.

At the end of our session I picked up my little boy blue and said, "Not too bad for being down for 61 minutes!"  Our pt looked at a pt student who was in the room observing and said, "Did you read his case file?  He should not be like this at all.  Nothing like it."

Praise God!

A nice little Valentine's Day

Things are low key around here for Valentine's Day.  We had appointments and I went grocery shopping where I saw at least four men walking around with a bouquet of flowers and one other thing - diapers, steak, beer... 

I made home made valentines, inspired by Catholic Icing, using old, slightly crumpled resume paper and the pen my husband grades with.  The kids got a new book and little boxes of chocolates.  We were very happy to have James' godmother come over for dinner, a few of Trav's favorite things:  home made pizza, hummus, and our new fave kale chips. 

I know that St. Valentine - the lover of lovers - was taken off the Roman Catholic calendar.  February 14th is officially the feast day of Saints Cyril and Methodius.  For me, Valentine's Day is like Thanksgiving.  Nothing too religious, but a good reminder to express my love for those I love.  And of course, it is good to remember what love really looks like - not chocolates and cards and flowers, but compassion, mercy, and service.

This Valentine's Day was the first day I ever felt that way, but I'm glad I've finally reached that point.  I love Travis not because he's so good at woo-ing me, but because he's kind, gentle, hard-working, honest, funny, and godly.  He is a good man and I thank God I realized that.

my thoughts on this good day

I hesitate to even record that today has been a good day.  It feels like I am setting myself up for some hard fall.  You see, it's not even 3 o'clock so there is still plenty of time for things to crumble.

By nine my kids were dressed and fed, and so was I.  I was getting supper in the crock pot when our friends arrived for a play date.  The kids played well for two hours, and then it was lunch for my family followed by a walk.  Lydia, wearing her heart-shaped sunglasses, pushed her baby doll in a stroller while I pushed Bennet and carried James in an Ergo.  We were so cute, I assure you.  After our walk B had his afternoon nap, L had quiet time in her room, and J also laid down.  I started a load of laundry and did dishes.  L and I then made banana bread. 

See what I mean - a beautiful, perfect day!

This is what I always pictured motherhood to be like for me.  The house decorated and tidy.  Good smells of home made things coming from the kitchen.  Cute kids, playing sweetly, sleeping peacefully.  Lots of hugs, kisses, and high fives.  Me taking the time to crouch down and tell my child how proud I am of him for his kindness, to teach my daughter how to make a letter, to encourage my babe to reach, sit, roll. 

Today I feel like a good mom and so in the midst of it all I stopped and said a little prayer.  Thank you, God, for giving me this.  Thank you for showing me that I can do this.  Thank you for these blessings.  Please let it continue.  Please don't let this all be followed by a mess, a melt down, and some kind of fall that follows pride.  I like how this feels and I need it just a while longer.

I know that God wants me to be the best version of myself.  I know that He is also pleased that today has gone so well.  And I also know that He's not going to magically fix my life so that it's one perfect moment followed by another.  But I believe that He wants days like today to not be consolations, but the norm.  Yet I'm not sure how to get there - to that norm.

I think, though, that it might have a little to do with staying home more.  Home.  At our house, just the four of us.

But those thoughts will finished another day. 

for Pete's sake

Our first child was miscarried at about six weeks; we named him Peter Mark. In memory of him, I would like to collect your prayer intentions that are related to the pains and anxieties of infertility or the loss of a child.

Perhaps you and your spouse are trying to conceive. Perhaps someone you love is beginning the adoption process. Maybe you have lost several children, are pregnant again and worry about carrying your child to term. For Peter's sake, please allow me to pray for you or your loved ones.

Please leave your prayer intention - for yourself or someone you know - in the comment box. Commenters may leave their name or be anonymous. You may share as little or as much as you like. With great respect, dignity, and affection I would like to pray for you, your pain, your grief, and your hope. I feel it is a calling from God and a great honor.

I, of course, invite all those who comment or read the comments to join me in praying for one another.

Thank you for this privilege.

cute cute cute

kale chips

My friend LB talked about them on Facebook and put them in her annual Christmas cookbook gift.  I finally tried them yesterday and ended up making two pans, both of which lasted about 3 minutes. 

Laura Beth, why did I wait so long?!!!! 
Answer:  I didn't know what kale looked like so wasn't sure what to buy in the produce aisle.

Anyways, I shared the recipe here.  Try them; you'll like them.

throwback

Phantom Planet was the boy band of my college days. I think I still have three of their albums.

This song always makes me think of the club Tatjana took me to in Koln, Germany. They played this song and everyone sang along in cute German accents. It was awesome.

Bennet is doing this wierd, frustrating thing; I believe it's called teething. Low fever, grumpy, demanding, wants to be held a lot, no longer sleeping through the night. We're talking periods of wakefulness that last 40 minutes or more at night. Here's hoping last night was the last night.
I feel a little crazy.

So if you're having a bad day maybe this song will help you, too.

so long, phenobarbitol!

Yesterday's appointment with the neurologist was great.  Dr. J continues to find James impressive, though he was troubled by the eczema / rash we just can't get rid of.  Thinking the skin problems may be related to the phenobarb, and knowing that James hasn't had a seizure since he was 5 hours old, Dr. J suggested we try weening James off the medication.  By mid March we will be done with it!

I believe that James will never have another seizure in his life, but I do still pray that if he does I am able to identify it immediately.  Please join me in that prayer, and in thanking God for His goodness.

what to do

I have a situation in my life that is very frustrating and I'm looking for some help.

It concerns an old friend, a girl I met during college.  She was raised Catholic but, frankly, never cared much about God, history, faith, or religion to actually learn and understand the teachings of the Catholic Church.  I suspect that God was a bunch of "don't do"s to her and poor catechetics didn't help.

Now, after a recent shake up in her life, she has decided to investigate God.  This is good.  But instead of discovering what the Catholic Church teaches she's reading books by former Catholics that misrepresent

James will wow us all

Hey folks, we've got some things coming up for which I would really love to have your prayers.

Today James has another appointment with our neurologist.  Last time we saw Dr. J he was very impressed with James.  My hope is that he continues to find James impressive.  Our ultimate goal with neurology is another EEG that shows normal brain activity and weening James off the phenobarbitol (siezure medicine).

On Feb 24th James will have another cookie swallow.  At this point we will re-evaluate the thickness of James' bottles to see if he can go to a thinner consistency.  The perk of going thinner will be using my stored breastmilk in his bottles.  We will also introduce spoon feeding to him.  Hopefully some good fruits, veggies, and breastmilk will relieve some of his constipation issues.

During a recent phone conversation with our feeding therapist I learned that James' first cookie swallow was the worst she had ever seen in six years of working at the Children's Hospital.  She asked if she could show his film to nurses, doctors, and others during training as a clear example of "penetration" - when the food goes into the windpipe.  (not a record we want, James!)  But I also learned that just because he can't take a bottle of regular liquid doesn't mean he'll never be able to drink water.  It seems that sucking, breathing, swallowing is what is so hard, but if James is just drinking (take away the sucking) then he'll probably be able to eat and drink safely and normally.  Probably.  We'll get a clue about that with this upcoming cookie swallow.

Lastly, we are quickly approaching the three month mark for not using James' button.  I have made an appointment with the gi doctor's office for mid March.  Hopefully we will be removing that sucker soon!

So in short, please pray for:
- a good visit with Dr. J today, the result of a normal, healthy, miraculously healed brain
- a good cookie swallow on the 24th, meaning James actually takes a 4 oz bottle during it and we see that he can tolerate thinner liquids and spoon feedings safely
- that everything will happen as it should so we can get the button removed in March

Thanks for your prayers and support!

the wisdom of my husband and the Superbowl

My wise husband told me that it is better for the Chicago Bears if the Packers won because it's better to have lost to the winner of the Super Bowl than the loser.  He also said it's better for our division.

So, this may be the only time you hear me say this but,

Go Packers!  Beat the Steelers!

Eat it up, Cheeseheads.

Behold!

One month from today the second Behold Conference will be happening at Five Points in Washington!

Our guests will be Jennifer Fulwiler, the Sisters of Life, and musician Marie Miller.

With over 200 women registered we are filling up!  Get your registration form and send it in today!  Registration deadline is February 25th!

Go to http://www.beholdconference.com/ for form and all the details.



And now let me be frank:  Ladies, I am working my butt off on this conference because YOU are worth it.  You deserve a day where you can be served, inspired, encouraged, uplifted.  I want you to come, to fall in love with your faith, to understand how much God loves you.  I want you to have the chance to go to confession - maybe for the first time in years - to worship, to sing, to pray.  I want you to learn, to be challenged, to be surrounded by hundreds of women who are joyful.  This conference is going to be great, and it will be better if you are there.  So come!

7 quick takes

-1-

The days of revelry have come to end.  Travis went back to school today.

-2-

Potty training with Lydia is still happening.  We're going the pull-up route since she doesn't seem to know when she needs to poop yet - or something like that.  She maybe has one wet "accident" a day but I think if I remembered to prompt her more we wouldn't have any wet pull ups. 

Any tips out there?

-3-

By the time James reaches 5 months he will have his top left front tooth.  Yes, little boy blue is teething.  He's a little bit crankier than usual, but overall he is by far the easiest teether ever.  He might be the most laid back baby I will EVER give birth to.

(please don't let it be the phenobarbitol!)

-4-

This Friday will be three months since James was last tubed a feeding.  When we get to March 2nd it will three months since we've used it at all.  This means that I need to be scheduling a surgery to have it removed. 

Yesss-uh!

-5-

The stupid new state tax is taking $45 out of each paycheck for us.  That's a pretty big blow for a family who grocery shops off of $70 a week and puts no money in savings.  Maybe what the Illinois congress should have done first is made law that says high school principals in rich suburbs cannot have bigger salaries than the president of the USA.  That would have freed up some money.

-6-

Bennet is obsessed with the vacuum cleaner.  Has anyone else ever seen this in a toddler before?  He will cry on the floor in front of the laundry room door (where the vacuum is kept) if I don't bring it out for him.  And it's not just our vacuum - both grandmas have had to let him see theirs.  Be careful if we come over for a playdate.  Hide your Dyson!  Conceal your Oreck!  Put away your Hoover!

-7-

Here's a really great link I found on postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety.  When I have searched for stuff before I've only come across websites that talk about not being happy, crying a lot, not having an appetite, and wanting to sleep all day.  None of those things fit me at all, yet I've wondered since Lydia's birth if something was wrong or if motherhood just brought out the worst in me and I was stuck this way forever.

So it was actually a huge relief when I heard a woman I greatly respect talk about postpartum anxiety in her life.  I thought to myself, "that sounds a little like me."  When I googled the term I found Postpartum Progress and realized that I probably am not a borderline horrible mother - I just have issues that can be worked out. 

I am loving this

Maybe you're one of those people who hate snow.  You hate cold.  You are not happy that we just got 14" and a blizzard.  You probably have some good reasons for hating all this.

But right now I am one happy camper.

Travis has had two snow days and will be home again tomorrow.  We have baked home made cinnamon rolls, banana bread, and monster cookies.  I have read chapters in my book.  I took a nap.  I washed all the dishes.  I decorated for Valentine's Day.  I've been able to work on things for the Behold Conference.

I guess that what it all comes down to is that when Travis is home and has nothing else to do then he can help with the kids.  And I need all the help I can get.

Plus, ya know, there's all that yada yada stuff about the "magic of a snow day" blabbity blah blah blah.  Whatever.  I got to take a nap.

Need something warm, easy and yummy to eat on this cold, blizzard of a day?

Check out my food blog for some ideas!

And please share your own recipes with me!