Saturday, January 31, 2009
I'm sorry this is so public, but I only have your mother's home phone number and no other means of getting in touch with you. But since you read this blog I thought I'd try communicating with you this way. *shrug*
First and foremost I want you to know that I really, really appreciate your phone call to me shortly after I gave birth to Lydia. I was in such a daze and so caught off guard that I barely remember anything from that conversation. But the fact that you called means the world to me. Oh how I love hearing your wonderful German accent!
Second, I think you should know that I think of you and how you made fun of American chocolate and then asked me to bring you Reece's Peanut Butter Cups every time I eat one.
Third, will you please email me your mailing address and current phone number? You can find my email on my profile.
Fourth, if you are ever back in the USA I wish you would stop in the Midwest. We could have that Thanksgiving dinner we missed out on.
Finally, please tell your family hello.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
There is a group on the internet called What the FOCA and today is their call to action. I appreciate what they're doing and their play on WTF, but if you would like to read the bill text and see what the experts believe will be the effects of the Freedom of Choice Act, please go here: http://www.focafacts.com/FOCAfacts/
(it's a less emotional site and has more info)
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Going to this party made me feel great. I stayed until past 1am. There was a good mix of people I knew and fresh faces. My favorite part of the night was towards the end, when we stragglers talked about Jack Handy and his Deep Thoughts. There was a some twins there, one with his girlfriend and the three of them made me laugh for hours. I left feeling young and vibrant - two things I haven't felt in at least 8 months.
Saturday Travis and I sat around like newlyweds until it was time to use an old movie pass and go see Gran Torino. Great movie. On the way in I commented to Travis that I didn't miss Lydia. On the way out I asked him if he wanted to go to my parents' house.
Let me tell you, it is amazing how cute she is and how great it makes me feel when, upon seeing me, she beamed, squealed and began flapping her arms in excitement. After a wonderful dinner of beef stew and croissant rolls Trav and I left Lydia at my Mom's to go home. We watched The Straight Story (super duper good, wholesome movie. The actor who plays Matthew in Anne of Green Gables is the lead.). I slept for 10 hours that night. It was awesome.
Right now I'm baking cookies and watching my daughter eat a carrot. It has been a terrific 3 days.
What this means is that my husband and I, who are totally against abortion, will now be paying for people to get abortions in other countries. I cannot tell you how much this pisses me off. It's not right. If all the pro-choice people want to set up a little fund and pay for those abortions they can. But when you include federal money - which means MY money - I firmly believe it's just not right.
I want Obama to do well, and I've been rather hopeful about his presidency. But if he keeps this kind of shit up I'm gonna end up hating him. I really hope FOCA is not around the bend.
Friday, January 23, 2009
My mom was told by a friend that her (friend's) grandson would do the same thing and when he had a large enough vocabulary he would tell his comforting mother, "I scary."
What do you think?
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
First, may I call you St. Nicholas? I'm much more comfortable with that name.
So St. Nicholas, now that the holidays are over I'm writing to tell you that I'm very concerned. I mean, what happened? For hundreds of years you were this beloved saint, a bishop who loved children and saved three sisters from a life of prostitution. You supposedly punched out a heretic at the Council of Nicea and then proclaimed the Truth. You were cool before cool was a word.
But now you're seen as just being a fat guy in some silly red suit. Sure, people think of you as jolly and an all around good guy, but you've been stripped of all your coolness and left as little more than a large elf who gives overindulged kids whatever they want for Christmas.
I've been thinking about it all and I guess it all began to shift with Clement Clarke Moore's 1822 poem Twas the Night Before Christmas. It's a sweet poem; I'm sure you remember how I had it memorized as a small child. Yet, it removes all of history and Christianity, pretty much changing the very essence of who you are.
Then Coca-Cola got hold of you and there was nothing left of the man you once were.
So I want you to know, St. Nicholas, that things are going to be different in my home. Of course my kids will "believe" in you! You're a real person! A saint in Heaven! But, with all due respect, I don't want you coming to my house on Christmas Eve. And I don't want you giving my kids an overabundance of presents. I would quite prefer if you came the night before December 6th and filled their stockings. That way, on your feast day (the 6th) we can talk about you and celebrate your life as a holy man who lived for Christ. Christmas morning my husband and I will give our children a few presents, and we'll even give them another gift come Epiphany, as we discuss how Christ is the True Gift of Christmas, and how the Wise Men gave what they had to Christ to honor Him. Maybe the Epiphany presents will consist of sacramentals? I do need to think about that one some more. Any ideas?
Also, I don't think we'll be making any more trips to see you at shopping centers. Instead, I would like to invite you, Bishop of Myra, to come to our house for a St. Nick party. I'll invite all the kids I know and when you come, dressed with your miter and crosier instead of a hat with a pompom, you can ask the kiddos what they're doing to prepare for the birth of Christ, instead of asking them what they want for Christmas. My hope is that this will help my family keep Advent, as we prepare ourselves for the Incarnation, and also shift the focus of Christmas away from you and back to the Infant Jesus.
I think this is a win-win situation. My kids will (hopefully) learn more about you as a saint, will see Christmas being less about presents and more about Christ, and will grow up rooted in the traditions of their beautiful faith. And you will regain some dignity in the way you're represented and I'm quite confident you'll rejoice in the way the glorious feast of Christmas is refocused on our Lord and Savior.
If you have any ideas or suggestions I am definitely open to hearing from you.
I am, most respectfully, yours sincerely.
P.S. Please pray for me and my family and give Peter a big hug.
My questioning if I was cut out for the vocation God had given me was reaching a peak and I decided that it was time to go to confession. I had been trying to go for 3 months (pathetic, I know) but I always forgot. But things were bad and I knew that there was a lot I needed to be forgiven and I was in major need of some major graces.
My goals for confession: to be forgiven of my sins and to not do the ugly cry in the confessional. Both were achieved.
I actually don't hate confession like a lot of Catholics might tell you. I love getting it all out, purging all the ugliness, making right my relationship with God and coming out of the box having heard the words "God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."
I have to tell you, since that day I have lost my temper and struggled with Lydia, but there has been a blanket of peace and joy about me. I have less frustrations and those I do have are easier to deal with. The only thing, it seems, confession cannot fix is my lack of sleep. :)
Catholics - if you haven't gone to Confession for a while go! You'll feel so much better!
Thanks for understanding - now here's a few posts I've been wanting to write for some time.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Little Noah was born on our anniversary and was almost as big as Lydia, which means pretty dang big! :)
You can read the birth story here.
Congrats again, Ben & Ton! Love you both!
Also, IncrediBaby update:
Lydia has 3 new teeth that have broken through (the left canine and two front teeth) with the right canine about to come through as well. We are hopeful this will mean some more sleep at night.
Although it might not since IncrediBaby is also a lot closer to walking than I really want her to be. People, she's cruising! She's becoming better and faster at moving down the sofa, walking around the ottoman, and moving from one piece of furniture to the next.
Also, Travis swears she did her first sign - milk - when I wasn't home and he had just given her the last of the pumped supply. I think it might have been coincidence.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
It's been amazing, fun and incredibly difficult.
Last night I was listening to Lauryn Hills' To Zion, a song she wrote to her son.
"How beautiful if nothing more
Than to wait at Zion's door
I've never been in love like this before...
And I'm reminded every time I see your face
That the joy of my world is in Zion"
I always thought those words would sum up how I would feel about being a mom. But it's not. When Lydia's asleep I'm not gonna hang out at her door. I'm gonna sit down, or take a shower, or clean up the kitchen, or read a blog. And while it is true that I've never loved someone the way I love Lydia, I have also never been so frustrated with another person in my life. My daughter's face can most definitely melt my heart, lift my spirits, make me laugh and make my heart ache with love. But she can also leave me feeling ragged, exhausted, empty, grumpy and far from joyful.
I don't know if Lauryn was setting me up for a hard fall or if my experience of motherhood is being shaded by several different circumstances, but right now I feel like I've spent the last 8 months being dragged behind a wagon.
Motherhood is hard. Pray for me and my family.